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Diary of a Minecraft Zombie: Zombie Family Reunion
2.0
Quiz number: 184625
Table of Contents
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Special
Sunday
Entry
early
Mondayentry
MondayEntry
LateMondayEntry
Tuesday
Wednesday,
I
think…
Thursday?
LateThursdayI
think…
By
nowI’m
not
surewhatday
itis…
Feels
likeSaturday…
Thismaybemylastentryever…
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Findoutwhathappens
next!Copyright ©2015Zack ZombiePublishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part ofthispublicationmay be reproduced, distributed,or transmitted inany formor by anymeans, electronicor mechanical,including photocopying,recording,scanning,or by anyinformationstorageor retrievalsystem, withouttheprior written permissionof the publisher,exceptinthecaseofbrief quotationsembodiedin criticalreviews and certain other non-commercialuses permittedbycopyright law.
This unofficialnovelis an original work offanfictionwhichisnotsanctioned nor approved by the makers ofMinecraft. Minecraftisaregistered trademarkof, and ownedby, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners,whichdo not sponsor, authorize,or endorse thisbook. All characters,names,places,andotheraspectsof thegame describedherein aretrademarkedand ownedbytheirrespectiveowners. Minecraft®/TM& ©2009-2016 Mojang.MONDAY
“We’regoingwhere?!!” “We’regoingto ourZombiefamily reunion,” myMomsaid. Oh man,thisisterrible!IthoughtI wasgoingtospendthe REST OF MY
SUMMER justplayingvideogamesandeatingcake. Now I have togoto adumbfamilyreunion. “DoIhavetogo, Mom?” “Yes,youdo. Ourfamilyreuniononlycomesaroundonceevery100years,
andthisyearallof yourrelativesfromallofthe different Biomes aregoing
tobethere,” she said. OH, GREAT. Ithoughtmyfamilywascrazy enough. NowIhavetodeal withtherestofmy crazyfamily fromallaroundtheOverworld.
I’mtelling youIthinksomebodysomewhereputacurse onme. Imeanthisstuffdoesn’thappentoother12yearoldkids,doesit? Ibetyouhumankids don’thave togoto familyreunions. I’msure they
don’thavetodealwithall oftheircrazyrelativescomingtogether todo
dumbfamilystuff. Human kidsprobablyhave funsummers,just playing videogamesallday andeating lotsofcake.
Man,beinga Zombieishard.
“Whereisitgoingto be?” I askedmyMom.
“Thisyear we’regoingtohave itat the GRAND ZOMBIE CANYON in theMesaBiome,” shesaid.
“What’sthat?”
“Well,theGrand ZombieCanyonwaswherethelastbattle oftheZombie Apocalypse wasfought,” shesaid. “Ithas alotof history,you know.”
Allofasudden,Dadchimedin, “Yeah,yourgreat,great,great, great grandpaRhemusfoughtinthatbattle,andhesaid itwasa REAL DOOZY.”
Thatsoundedprettyinteresting… “Really, Dad?” “Yeah, Rhemuswasa 37starGeneralintheZombieSpecialForces,” Dad
said. “He hobbledaround reallyslowbecauseofall thosemedals.”
WHOA.
“Andguesswhat, yourgreat,great,great,greatgrandpaRhemus iscoming tothefamilyreunionthisyear,” Dadsaid withprideinhisvoice. “Youcan meet him.”
“Your great, great,greatgrandmotherPetuniaZombieflewacrosstheocean ina singleengine airplane,” Momsaid, nodding. “She’scomingtoo.”
“Really?”
“Andyouknowwhoelseiscoming?” Dad asked. “Your great, great,great, great,great,greatgrandpaMethuselah Zombieiscoming. We’regoingto celebrate his 1000thbirthday atthefamilyreunion.”
“What?He’s goingtobe 1000 YEARS old?!!”
“Yep.” Dadnodded. “Andhe’s justas rottenandsmellyas whenhe first becameaZombie.”
Wow. Ineverthoughtmyfamilywasthat INTERESTING. But great, great,great,greatgrandpaRhemusandPetuniaZombie,and Methuselah Zombieall soundreallycool.
IwonderwhatothercoolrelativesI’mgoing tomeetatmyZombiefamily reunion.
TUESDAY
Iwent tosee Steve todaytotell himaboutmyZombie familyreunion. Itoldhim allabout mycoolrelatives. “AndIhaveagreat,great,great, great, great,greatgrandfathernamed
Methuselah Zombie,whosegoingto turn1000yearsold.” “Wow! That’sa LONG TIME tobea Zombie,” Stevesaid. “Yeah, Iknow,right?”
“Hey, Zombie, since youbroughtthat up,Ihavea questionforyou.” “Whatisit?” “DoZombies EVER DIE? Imean,I know you’realready deadandstuff,
butdo youever die, die?” Steveasked. “Idon’t think so.” I shookmyheadas Ithoughtaboutit. “IaskedmyDad
once,and he saidthataslongas nothing majorhappenstous,like gettinga seriousblowtothehead,Zombiescan liveforever.” “Whoa,” Stevesaid. “But,ifZombiesneverdie,wouldn’tyourun outof
placestolive?” “MyDadsaid thatthereareplentyofcavesforalltheZombiesinthe
Overworld. Healso saidthatthe Overworld NEVER ENDS. Itjustkeeps generatingmorecaves andbiomesandstuff.” “Cool,” Stevesaid.
“So,Steve, howwouldyoufeel aboutcomingtomy Zombie family reunion?” Iaskedhim.
“Are youserious?Thatwould beawesome. Butwon’tyour relativesget weirdedoutbymebeinghumanandall?”
“Ithinkwithalittlegreenpaint,anda littlebitofoldrotten Chinesefood,
we canfixallthat,” Isaid. “Wecanjusttellthemthatyou’rean EXCHANGE STUDENT fromanotherBiome. Wegetthoseallthetime. They won’tbeabletotellthe difference.”
“Sweet. Sowhenisit?”
“We’releavingonSunday,” Isaid.
“Wow,Zombie. Your familyreunionisgoingto beoffthehook!” Steve said.
“Yeah, Ican’twait,” Isaid, thinkingit’dbeevenbetterwithStevethere.WEDNESDAY
TodaymyMomandDadweretalkingaboutourZombiefamilyreunion.
“Dad, howarewegoing togettotheZombieFamilyReunion?” “Well,son,thebest wayis by MINECART TRAIN.” “Minecarttrain?What’sthat?” “Well,minecart trainsarecars thattravelona poweredrail,” he said.
“They’re reallyalotoffunwhenyou travelacrossthe Biomes.” “Howlong isitgoing totake?” “It’sgoingtotakeafew daystogetthere,” hesaid. “That’s whywe’re
goingtotakethenewsleeperMinecart trains. Wegetto sleepinthemtoo.”
“Really?Dotheyhavebedsinthem?” “They’re more like BODY BAGS actually… Bunkbed style,” he said. Whoa,bunkbody bags!That soundssocool. ExceptIhopeMomand Dad
don’tputmewithmylittle brother. He’ssuchapain, Ithought. “Anddon’tworry,Zombie,you won’thaveto shareabunkbodybagwith
yourlittlebrother,” Momsaidwith aknowinglook. Whoa,didshejust READ MY MIND? “Because yourcousinPiggyis coming withus,” Momadded. “Hisparents
have aconferencetogotointheNetherFortress,sothey’ll bejoiningusat thereunionlater. They’redroppingPiggy offwith usbecause theywant himto gettothereunion early.”
Ididn’tknow howIfelt aboutthat. Imean,Ilike Piggyandall,buthecan beabit ofa painsometimes. He’skindof AWKWARD too. Andhealways smellslike bacon. “Youcan shareabunkbodybagwithPiggy,” Mom said. Great, mytripwillbefull ofdreamsofZombiebacon,I thought. Thiswasmychancetosee ifIcould get them tobringSteveonthetrip.“HeyMom, there’sa SummerExchangeStudentprogramatmyschool,and err… Iwasthinking thatwecan invitean exchangestudent tocomebepart ofour Zombie familyreunion.”
“Thatis SO NICE of you, Zombie!” MyMombeamed. “Honey,didyou hearthat?Ourbabyisthinkingofhowtohelpothers. IthinkI’m goingto cry…”
Then myMomlet outthewaterworks. Itwas workinglikea charm.
“Son,I’m realproudofyou for thinkingof theneedsofothers,” Dadsaid. “We wouldbehappytohostanexchangestudent.”
Ha!It worked.
“Oh,OK. I’lltellMs. Bones atsummer schoolandshe’ll takecareofit,” I said.
Thisis SO COOL. NowStevecan come on ourZombiefamily reunion! Only thingis… Stevekindasmellsfunnytoo.THURSDAY
TodayIwas reallymissingmyfriendsSkelee,Slimeyand Creepy.
IreallymissedmyghoulfriendSallytoo.
They were all doingsomethingdifferentwith theirfamilies forthesummer sotheyweren’taround.
Skeleewasspendingthe summerat YELLOWBONE NATIONAL PARK wherehisfamilywas from.
SlimeywasstillattheSuperflat Biomewithhisfamily. Slimeyreally liked theopen fieldswherehecouldjumparoundand have funandstuff. So he’s havinga good timeoutthere.
AfterCreepaway Camp,Creepy went tovisithis cousinArchiein THE NETHER. Except,Istilldon’t knowwhyallthat heatintheNetherdoesn’t botherhim.
AndSallywas stillonherworldtourofalltheBiomes. She wasn’t coming back untila fewdaysbeforeschool.
IreallymissSally, too. I liked goingtotheZombie’sCaféand sharing a nicesnotshakewithher.
IknowwhatI’lldo, Ithought. I’ll go seeMutant. SoI wenttovisit Mutantathishousenextto theNuclearWastefactory.
WhenIgotthere,Mutantwas outsideplayingwithallof his RABBIT FRIENDS.
Theweirdthingabout Mutant’srabbitfriendsisthatthey’reallabit deformed. Some ofthemhavethreeeyes. Somehavesixlegs. Andafew of them havemore thanone head.
Butthosearethenormalones. Thedeformedoneshaveonly twoeyesand fourlegs.
“HeyMutant!”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Whatchaupto?”
UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Just playing withyourrabbitfriends?”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Andoneofthemjusthadbabies?”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“AndyounamedoneofthemZombie?”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Wow,thanksbuddy. Thatwasrealnice ofyou.”
Then Itoldhim, “Guesswhat?I’mgoingtoaZombiefamilyreunionina fewdays.”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Yeah, Iknowit’sreallyawesome.”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“No,myfriendscouldn’t come. They’reoutdoingdifferentthings this summer. ButIwish theywerecoming… Bythe way,whatareyou doing for therestofthesummer?”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“You’re goingtogovisityour relativesin thedesert?Wow,Ididn’t know youhadanyrelatives.”UUURRRRGGHHH!!!
“Yeah, my relativesare weirdtoo.”
Youknow,Ireallylike talkingtoMutant. He’sagreatlistener.
Idon’tactuallyunderstandwhathe’ssayingmostofthe time,butIthinkwe stillunderstand eachother.
Wehavearealspecial connection.
FRIDAYDINGDONG! “Zombie,can yougetthedoor?I think that’s yourcousinPiggy.” SoI wenttothedoor,anditwasPiggyandhisDad. Except Piggy lookeda littledifferent. IthinkDadsaidthatpubertydoes
weirdthingstokids. Iguess PUBERTY mustbehardonZombiePigmen. “HeyPiggy,” I said. “HeyZombie, checkoutmynewgold sword,” hesaid. “MyMomand Dad
justgotitforme for mybirthday.” “Yeahson,Ithinkyou’re growingintoa fineyoung ZombiePigman,” Piggy’sDadsaid.Piggy’s gold sword
“It’sabouttimeyou hadyour ownsword tobattlethose EVIL BRAIN EATING humans, he,he.”
“Takethat,and takethat,youevilhumans!” Piggysaidas hewildlywaved his swordaround.
“Hey, watchthesword,killer,” Isaid. “We’re shortonextraZombieparts rightnow.”
“HeythereFrancis,” Zombie’sDad saidto myDad.
“HeyLionel,” Dadsaid.
“Thanksfortaking Piggywith youtothe Zombiefamilyreunion,” Piggy’s Dadsaid. “Iwas tryingto getoutof the NETHER FORTRESS CONFERENCE, butwhentheGhasts,Wither Skeletons,Blazesand the
ZombiePigmenCommitteegetstogether,thingscangetreallyheated. So I need tobethereto calm thingsdown.”
IthinkPiggy’sDadissomebodyimportantintheNether. He’ssomekind ofambassadororsomething. Ithinkthat’sprobablywhytheylivesoclose totheNetherFortress. Onlyproblemis, theNether Fortressisinthemiddle oftheNethersoit’sreally, REALLY HOT. Itcan bea problemforregular Zombies. Wedon’t sweat, youknow.
“Not aproblem,Lionel. We’lltakegoodcareofhim,” MyDadassuredhim.
“HeyPiggy,go checkoutyourroom,it’sthesecondoneontheleft upstairs,” Dad said.
“Thanks,Mr. Zombie,” Piggysaidas heran UP THE STAIRS wavinghis newgoldsword.
Wait aminute,I thought. My roomisthesecondoneontheleft.
“Goodbye,Lionel. We’llseeyouatthe reunion.”
Ithink myDadwaitedforPiggy’sDadtoleave sohecoulddropthebomb onme. “Piggy’sgoingtobe stayinginyourroomuntil we leave,” Dadsaid. “It’s
thatOKwithyou?” AllIknowisthatMomwasn’ttheonly onethatcould turnonthe
WATERWORKS.“Blahhhhhhhhh!!!!!” Icried. Ithink Dadwasn’tready for that. “It’sonlyforfew days,” hesaid. ButallIheardwas, “And Piggyisgoingtobreakallyourtoys,he’s going
toripupallof yourcomics,andhe’sgoingto eatyour boogercollection.”“BLAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Mylifeis officially over,Ithought,asIcriedmyselftosleepontheliving room couch.
SATURDAY
Today,IhadtogetSteveready soIcould introduce himto my parents. Wegotsomegreen ZOMBIE LADY MAKEUP from the mobware store tohelphimlookmoreZombie-like. Idon’tknowwhyZombieladieswearmakeup. Itmakesthemlookreally weird. I’mnotusedto seeingaZombie withsmoothgreenskin. Anyway,weputonas muchas we couldso thathewastotallycovered from headtotoe. Afterwefinished,Stevelookedawesome. Sowe wenttomyhousetomeetmyMomandDad.ZombieSteve
MyMomansweredthedoor.
“HiZombie. And whois thisyoungZombie?”
“Ello, Mrs. Zombie, Mynem is ZVEN fromZveden,” Steve saidinhisbest Zvedishaccent. “Hello,Zven. It’sgreattohave youin ourhome,” Momsaid. “Ya, I amvery habbyto beheer!” Actually,IthinkStevewaspouringitonreallythick. IthoughtMomwould
seethroughhisactforsure.
“Errr, Mom,I wanttoshowZvenmyroom.” I grabbedhimbythearmto gethimoutofthere. “That’s agoodidea,Zombie. I’llprepare some pillows for himandhecan
sleep withyou intheliving room,” Momsaid.
AfterMomleft,SteveandI couldn’tholditinanymore. “PPFFTTTTTT!!!!!” Weburstout LAUGHING. “ZvenfromZveden?Where’d yougetthat from?Couldn’tyoubelike
‘Larry’ from theForrest Biomeor ‘Emery’ fromtheSwampBiomeor something?” Isaid laughing. “Icouldn’thelp it,” Steve said, “it justcametome.”
“Well,Ihopeyoudon’t mind the smellofbacon,” ItoldSteveas we enteredtheroom. Whenwewalkedin, Piggy wastherereading MY COMICS. “HeyZombie,” Piggysaid. “Who’syour friend?”
BeforeI couldanswer, Piggy rushedon. “Hi,friend ofZombie’s,myname isPiggy. I’maZombiePigman, andIhaveagoldsword. Iuse itto kill brain eatinghumans!” Thenhestartedwavinghisswordaroundandalmost gave me andStevematchinghaircuts.
“Piggy,putyourswordaway,” Itold him. “I toldyouwehavea shortageof extra Zombiebodyparts inthehouse becauseDad didn’tgoto theMorgue thisweek.”
Iactuallylied. We hadplenty of EXTRA ZOMBIE PARTS. Exceptlips. Forsomereason,wehaven’thadthoseinyears.
Then myMomcalledmedownstairsforsomething.
“Zombie!” Momyelled.
“HeyMom,” Isaidas I walked downstairs.
“How’s Zvendoing?” Momasked. “Ishegettingsettledin?”
“He’sgreat. ZvenandPiggyreally hit itoff. They’reinmyroomplaying withmy BOOGER COLLECTION rightnow.”
“OK… well,we’rehavingdinner soon,sopleasetell PiggyandZventoget ready,” she said.
“Oh,Ok. IwillMom.”
“Oh,andcanyoutellZventofreshenupalittlebit… He SMELLS kindof funny.”SUNDAY
Wewentto the minecarttrainstationtodayto leaveforourreunion,andI gottosee aminecart trainfor the firsttime.
Itwas REALLY COOL.
Itlookedlikeaboutonehundredminecartsthat were linkedtogether.
Therewerealotofmob familiesthatgotontheminecarttrain. Isawa lot ofZombies, some Creepers,and Skeletons,and Ievensawa Slimefamily try togeton.
ThoughIthinktheyhadtroublesqueezingin the smalldoorway.
Dadtold methatmostminecart trainsaren’t covered,butweneededaroof sowewouldn’tgetburnedbythesunonourlongtrip. We were going acrossthecountry,soitwouldtakeafewdays.
Dadalsotoldmethat whenthey builtthefirst CROSS COUNTRY minecarttrains,nobodythoughtaboutaddingacover. Itwasoneofthe worstdisastersinmob history.
Dadsaysthatmobsaren’tallthatsmart.
Iwaslookingatallofthe minecarts andwonderinghowtheyall stuck together.
“HeyDad,” Iaskedhim, “Whatkeepsalloftheminecartstogether?”
“That’s a GOOD QUESTION, son,” hesaid. “They’reusuallyjoined byapinthatconnectsthecarstogether. Youknow,onetime,akid accidentallypulledoneofthe pins,andwhenthetrainleft the station,some ofthecarswereleftbehind.”
“Whoa.”
Sowe boardedtheminecarttrain andwenttothe back twocars.
Steve, Piggy, mylittlebrotherWesley andIwereallin thelastcar,and Mom andDad were inthecar nexttous.
Itwas already late,so we all got intoour BUNK BED body bags.
Stevewasa littletallerthantherest ofus,sowe hadto cut ahole inthe bottomofhisbodybagsohecouldfit. Hisfeetwerestickingout ofthe bottomanddanglingoverhisbunk.
Hisfeetwerekindofsmellytoo,sotheminecarttrain carsmelledlike pickles andpig’s feet.
I’mso looking forwardto gettingtoourZombiefamilyreunion. Inever knewthatwehad somany coolmobsinmyfamily.
Well,weget there tomorrow, soI’m goingtosleep.
Thisis turning out tobethe BEST SUMMER ever…
SPECIAL SUNDAY ENTRY
THUD! Weallwokeupbecauseit feltlikeweran intosomething. Ilooked out thewindowandit wasalittleaftersundown. All theotherguys
hadwoken up too. Then Isaweverybody GETTING OFF thetrain, sowegotoffthetrain too. “Whatisit?” Iasked myDad. “Oh,it’sOK,son. Wejust madeastopinthedesertbefore we makeitto theMesaBiome,” Dadsaid. “Peoplearegettingalittlestretchanda bitof fresh desertair.” Icouldsure usesomefreshdesertairafterbeingintheminecartwith Steve andPiggy. There’sonlyso much PICKLES AND BACON Icantake.
Soeverybodyinthe minecarttraingotoutandjustwanderedaboutfora
while. Whenitwastime toleave,Inoticedthatmylittle brother Wesleywas missing,soIwentlookingforhim.
WhenIfound him, he waswavingagoldstickthatlookedlikePiggy’s sword. “SHINY!” Wesleysaid. “Wesley,don’tplaywithPiggy’s sword,” Isaid. “He’snotgoingtolikeit.”
PlusI’mnot surewebroughtanyextrabodyparts… WhatifWesley cut off
his hand orsomething?And I’d probablygetblamedfor it. SoI pickedupWesleyand Piggy’s sword, andwegotontheMinecarttrain rightwhen itwasabout toleave.
IputWesleyin his BODY BAG BUNK andI thought,Wesley issucha pest! WhydoMomand Dadhavetobringhimeverywhere? SothenIjumpedinto mybody baganddecidedtogetsomemore sleep. Ireallyhatewakingup early…EARLY MONDAY ENTRY
YAWN! Manit feltgreatto getsomesleep. Thetrainwasn’tmovingso Ithoughtweprobablyarrived. IwonderwhyMomandDaddidn’twakeusup? Well,I wasjustgladto behere. “Wake up,fellas,we’re here!” I said. “WHUZZAT?” Stevesaid. “Ruyeek,ruyeek, ruyeeek” Piggysaidwhileswinginghissword. Ithink IwokePiggyupfromabad dream. “YouOK,Piggy?” “Ijust hadthe WEIRDEST DREAM thatwewereattacked by brain eating
humans, withgiantpumpkin heads!” he said. “Don’t worry,itwasjustadream.” Then InoticedthatWesleywassleepingwithPiggy’ssword. ButPiggyhad
his swordin his hand. IfPiggyhas his swordin hishand,thenwhat wasWesleyholding? Oh,no…
SoI jumped outofthe bunkbedandranoutside. Wewerestillinthedesert,and therestofthe TRAIN WAS GONE! Wesleyhadpulled thepinthatheldthetraincars together! Ithought, UUUURRRGGGHHHH!!!! LITTLEBROTHERSARESUCH APEST! IWISHWESLEY HAD NEVERBEEN BORN! Then Steve, Piggyandmylittlebrothercameoutofthecarandwatchedme
jump upanddown. “Whoa,youOKthere,Zombie?” Steveasked. PiggythoughtIwas ATTACKING imaginarybraineating humanssohe
startedjumping alongwith me andswinging his goldsword.
Wesleygotintoit too, andstarted swingingthegoldminecartpinlikea sword. UUURRRGGGHHHH!!!
“Sowhere’stherest ofthe train?” Piggy asked. Ittook meawhiletocalmdownso Icouldexplainwhathappened. “Wesleypulledtheminecart pin, sotherest ofthe minecarttrainleft
without us,” Isaid. “We’restuckhere!” “Shiny,” Wesleysaidashekept JUMPING around andwavingthe minecartpininmyface. UUURRRGGGHHHH!!!
“Calmdownthere,buddy,” Stevesaid. “Iguesswe’lljust have tofigure out
away togetthere. Butrightnowwehavebiggerproblems.” Stevepointedtothe horizon,andthesunwas rising. Wehadsleptstraight till DAYBREAK. So,wehadtogetinto acavequick.
Wesaw abigrock cliff far away,sowe ranforit.
SteveputWesleyonhisshoulders, becauseIwas too madathimtohelp him. Wepickedupanythingwecould carryandranasfastaswecould. “Shiny,shiny,shiny,shiny…”wasallweheard asweran toward the hills.
Allofasudden,Ismelled thatbacon smell again, exceptthis timeIheard
sizzlingtoo. Piggyhadfallen behindbecause hewasaslowrunner. SoIran back toget him.
Igave hima PIGGYBACK rideallthe wayto thehills.
“Can’t youthrowthat swordaway?” ItoldPiggy. “It’s making youreally heavy.” “We mayneedittofightoffbraineatinghumans,” hesaid. UUURRRGGGHHHH!!! Wemadeit tothehillsandsaw acavein frontofus. Wemadeit intothecavejustintime,asthesuncame outfullblast. “Shiny!” Wesleysaidpointingtothesunrise.
Wewerestuckin thatcaveforalongtime. Afterawhilewegotreallytired. Sowealldecided togetsomesleep. Sowe allfell asleeptothesmellofcrispybacon.MONDAY ENTRY
“HeyZombie, Ithinksomebody’s outside,” Stevesaid ashewokemeup. “Uurrghwhuzzwhat?”
“CRACKLE!”
Then Iheardittoo. Itwas darkout,sowecouldgooutofthecave, butnone ofuswantedto. Itwas the firsttimeIsaw Steve scaredofanything,soIknewwewere in
trouble. “Whatdoyou think itis?” I askedSteve. “Idon’t know. Butthepeopleinmyvillagehavebeentelling storieslately,
about WILD GREEN creaturesinthedesertthatsneak uponyou andblow youupifyou’renotlooking,” hesaid. “Whoa,” Isaid. “Crackle!” “It’scomingcloser!” Isaid.
“We’regonnahavetogetreadyforbattle.” Stevepickedup arock. “Piggy,areyoureadytofight some brain eatinghumans?” Steve saidto Piggy.
“READY FOR DUTY, Sir!” Piggygaveasalute.
“Howaboutyou,littlebro,” StevesaidtoWesley. “Areyouready for battle?”
“Shiny,” Wesleysaid,holdinguptheminecartpin.
Some andStevelookedateachotherandgaveeach otheranod. Then werushedout allatonce,yelling, “AAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Butnobodywasoutside. SteveandIlookedat each other andstartedgigglingandlaughing. Thenall
ofusstartedlaughing. Allofasudden,allofthese MONSTERS jumpedoutfromthebushes aroundus. “UUURRRGGHHH!!!” “AAAAHHHHHHH!” wesaidas wecoweredtogetherintoa ball. Then oneofthemonsters reachedoutitsclaw tosinkintousandIjust
closedmyeyes. “Piggy,izzatyou?” Thebeastsaid. “Whatchaderingsofarfromhome?” “Uncle Rufus?” Piggysaid surprised. “Zombie, it’s UNCLE RUFUS, my
Dad’sseconduncle’s son’s,cousin’s brother,twiceremoved.”
“Heyeveryberdy, it’s Lionel’ssonPiggy!” Rufussaid, witha weirdaccentI couldhardlyunderstand. “Heerrraayyyy!!!” thegroupyelledas more Zombiescameoutofthe
bushes. “Watchadoing outhere byyer lonesome?” Rufusasked.
“We were onour waytotheZombiefamilyreunionandour minecartgot
separated from theothers,” I said. Rufuslooked meover andthen smiled, “You mustbeFrancis’ son, Zombie!”
“Heyeveryberdy, it’s FRANCIS’S SON Zombie!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allyelled. Hey,Ididn’tmindtheintroductions,butwhatIreally wanted toknowwas
howtogetto the MesaBiome. “Andhurz thislittle guy?” Rufusasked looking atWesley. “That’s mylittle brother,Wesley,butwhatwewanttoknowishowto getto
theMesa…” “Heyeveryberdy, it’s Francis’ssonWesley!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allyelled. “Andhurz this SMELLY youngZombie?” Rufus askedpointingtoSteve. “That’s myfriendSte…uhZven fromZveden,buthowdowegetto the…” “Heyeveryberdy, it’s Zombie’sfriendZvenfromZveden!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allyelled. Manweweregettingnowherewith these guys.
UncleRufusstartedintroducingallofour RELATIVES tous,but there were likeathousandof them soI knew weweregoingto betherefor afew hours.
“AndthisisZeke,and Billy-Bob,andBilly-Ray, andMabel,andCletus, andClyde,andEustuce, andFloydandOtis, andRoscoe,andBetty-Lou and…”
I COULDN’T TAKE IT anymore!
“CANANYBODYTELLUSHOWTO GET TOTHEMESA BIOME?!!!” Iyelled. “WE NEEDTOGET TOOURZOMBIEFAMILY REUNION!!!”
Then everybodygotquiet.
“Whydidn’t yersayyergoing totheZombiefamilyreunion?” Rufus said
SMILING.
“Heyeveryberdy, they’re going totheZombie familyreunion!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allsaid. “It’sa night’swalkin thatdirection,” Uncle Rufussaidpointing tothe
desert. “Wewouldwalkyer,butit’sminingseason,andweneedtogoscare some minerssilly,right boys?!!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allyelled.
“Thankyou,UncleRufus,” Isaid,gladto GET OUT of there. “We’ll joinyeratthefamily reunion ina fewdaysafterwescaresome miners!” Rufus saidaswewalkedaway. “Rightboys?!!!”
“Heerrraayyyy!!!” they allyelled.
LATE MONDAY ENTRY
AfterleavingUncleRufus andourZillbillyfamily,westartedwalking towardthe MesaBiome.
Wewalkedforhours,andit wasreally hot andreallyscary.
WewereallstillscaredafterStevetoldusaboutthestrangegreencreatures thatblowpeople up.
Atfirst,Ithoughthewastalkingabout CREEPERS. ButCreepersonly blow upbyaccident.
Actually,I’mreallysurprised myfriendCreepybackhomehasn’t BLOWN UP yet. He’skindof clumsysometimes.
ButIthinkCreepysaidthatthey’vemadesomanyadvancesin sciencethat byusingaliquidNitrogen inhaler,a Creepercangoexplosionfreefora longtime.
Well,I’mjustglad Creepy isnothere,Ithought. Knowing himhewould probablyforgethisinhaler. AndCreepersanddesert cactusdon’t mixvery well.
Iwaslostinmythoughts untilStevetookouthisharmonica andbrokeout intoasong: “Home,Homeon theraaaange… Wherethe spidersandsilverfish plaaaay. Whereseldomisseeeeen,
An exploding-monster that’sgreeeeen, Andthesun…OOPS, SORRY…andthe mooooonglows brightlyall day!”
WealllaughedatSteve’s singing,butI thinkPiggy wasstillscared. Hewas holding ontohisgoldswordreally tight. Then weheard, BOOM!
Weturned aroundandlooked totheleft andlooked torightto seewhereit
camefrom. Piggywasswinginghisswordwildly inevery directionwithhiseyes closed. “Takethat, andthat,andthat, andthat!”
“Piggy!” Isaid. “Whatever itwas,Ithinkit’sgonenow.” “Ithinkyou spoketoosoon,” Stevesaidpointing. “Look!” Wesaw ashadowof the weirdestcreaturefaraway,butitlookedlike itwas
coming towardus. “OH MAN, ohman,ohman, oh man,ohman,ohman,” Piggysaid. Then itcreptoutoftheshadows anditwas… aCreeper!Butaweird looking Creeper. Itlookedlikeit hadbeenouthereforalongtime. Weirdestthingwasthatit hadaHawaiianshirton.
“Whatarrrryou guysssssdoingheeere?” theCreeper said,slurringhis wordsreallyslowly. “Areyooootrying togetmyberrrrrieesss?
“Berries?” Isaid, “Nowe’rejusttryingtogetto theMesaBiome.”
“Oh,thasssgoooodbecause Iwouldprooooobablyhaveto get toughwith
yooooouguyssss,ifyou were.” TheCreepercouldbarely stand up. Stevebentdown tolookatthe plantsnext tohim withberriesonthem. “Youmeanthese berries?”
“Yeah, thoooosearemy berrrrriiiiesss,so don’ttussshthem,OK?” Then Stevewhisperedtome, “HeyZombie,theseare ENDER BERRIES. Youeatenoughof these,theymakeyou reallyloopy.” “Howlong have you’vebeeneatingthese?” Steveaskedthe Creeper. “We’vebeeneattttting theeezzzfor the pastfew munths,sinceour tour bussssgotlosssstout heeeere,” hesaid. “Wherearetherestofthe Creepersfromthetourbus?”
BOOOOMMM!
“Theressssone ofthemnow,” theCreepersaid.
Allofasudden,weknew we were introuble. TheCreeperwasstanding rightnextto acactus,andby the lookofthings,hewasabout tofallover. Stevepicked upmy littlebrotherWesley,and yelled, “RUN!!!” PiggyandIjumpedintothebushes andthen… BOOOOOOMM!
“Is everybodyOK?” Stevesaid.
“Yeah, we’regood. Butlook atthat!” I lookeddown atthebigcraterthe Creepermade.
TheCreeper’s explosion made an openinginthe groundthatrevealedan
undergroundtunnel. “Whoa,thatmust beanunderground MINESHAFT orsomething,” Steve said.
Then Wesleysaid, “Shiny,” ashepointedtothehorizon. “Ohman, thesun’s rising,” Isaid. “Let’sjumpintothe mineshaft quick.” Soallofus jumped intothemineshafttokeepfromgetting burned.
Itwas REALLY DARK in there. Butnoneofuscared,because wewereall reallytiredfromwalking. Piggy, WesleyandSteveflopped onthegroundand fellasleep. Istayedupa bitjust thinking. Areweevergoingtogettomy Zombiefamilyreunion?Ithought. Orare
we goingtobestuckouthereforever? Ireallyhopewemakeit. I reallywanttomeetGrandpaMethuselah. Hisbirthdaycakemustbehuge…
TUESDAY
Iwokeuptoa reallybrightlight.
“Wake up,Zombie,” Stevesaid. “Ifoundsomething.”
“Uuurggghhhyyyaawwwnn!Whattimeisit?”
“Idon’t know,” Stevesaid. “But CHECK THIS out.”
Stevehadatorch thathebroughtwith him,andheheld itupagainst the wall.
On thewallwere allofkindsofEgyptian Zombie pictures.
“Whoa,” Piggysaid. “Iknowwhatthoseare. Those areEgyptian Zombie hieroglyphics.”
“HIRO-WHAT?”
“Hieroglyphics,” Piggy said. “They’reancientEgyptian Zombie writing. There’samuseumofMobNaturalHistoryin the Nether Fortressthatmy Mom takes metosometimes. They have awholeexhibitwith abunchof these on the walls. My Mom even gotmeabookonhow totranslate them.”
“Doyou think youcanreadthese?” Steveasked.
“Maybe… Let’ssee. Hereliestheriver…no,no… Hereliesthe path… right!Hereliesthepathto the ancient EGYPTIAN ZOMBIE treasure. Be wary…no… Beware… Bewareallwhoenterhere. Onlythemostnoble willsurvive.”
“Really?That’swhatitsays?It doesn’tsay ‘hereisthefluffyminecartthat willtake yousafely toyourZombiefamily reunion?’” Isaid, annoyedat
another DEATHTRAP.
“Nope,that’swhatitsays,” Piggy said. “Where’s yourspiritofadventure?” Steve askedme. “Ileft itontheminecart trainwithMomand Dad,” I saidsarcastically. “Well,that’sthedirectiontoward theMesaBiome,” Stevesaid pointing
downthedark tunnel. “Sowemight aswellseeif we canfind some EgyptianZombie TREASURE alongtheway.” Oh,man,we’redead,Ithought.
So,aswewalkeddownthetunnel,Piggy kepttalking.
“Youknow, MUMMIES weresomeoftheoriginalZombiesthousandsof yearsago,” Piggy said. “They were reallysmart. Theyweregreatengineers andscientists.”
“Iftheyweresosmart,why didtheylooksodumb?” Isaid,make-believing thatIwas an EgyptianZombie. “Lookatme,I’m anEgyptianDummy.”
“That’s Mummy,” Piggy said.AnEgyptian mummy
Stevestarted laughing. “HeyPiggy,whatdidtheEgyptianZombie engineers andscientistsspecializein,anyway?” “Boobytraps,” Piggysaid. SteveandIstoppeddeadinourtracks andlookedateachother. “SHINY!” Wesleysaid. Weturned his way,yelling, “NO!” Itwas too late. Hepulledagoldleveronthewall. Suddenly,theentirefloor cavedinandweallfellthroughit.
“AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”
THUD! THUD!
THUD! Wealllanded ina strange room litwithtorches. “Cough, cough… Where’s Wesley?” Steveasked. THUD!ThenWesleylandedright ontopofme. “Zumbie,” Wesleysaidsmiling. UUUUURRGGHH!!!!Wesleymakesmesomad!!!!!!
“Wesley, DON’T TOUCH anything!” Iyelled.
Then Wesleyturnedfromgreen toblue, toredand… “WAAAAHHHH!!!!” Wesleystarted crying. “Zombie,he’s justalittlekid,youknow,” Stevesaid. “Give himabreak.”
Howisitthat Wesleycauses allthe trouble,and I’mthe BAD GUY!
UUUURRGGHH!!!! I wishI neverhada littlebrother! SteveputWesleyonhisshoulders. “Let’sjustfindaway outof here. Where areweanyway?”
“Iknowwhereweare,” Piggysaid. “Theorangeandbluetiles andthelarge pillarsmeans… Wemustbeinthemainchamberofthe DESERT TEMPLE!”The main chamber
“Really?I’veheardofthedesert temple,” Stevesaid. “Isn’t theresupposed
tobeareallybigtreasureinhere?” “Yes. Butit’salso supposedtobeboobytrapped,” Piggysaid. “Ifyou step onthe wrongfloorblock,theentireroom willexplode.”
Allofuslookedateachother,and we frozeinplace.
“Sowhatdo wedo?” IaskedPiggy. “Idon’t know,” hesaid SHRUGGING his shoulders. “Igotanidea,” Stevesaid. “Let’sdigthroughthe blockswe’re standingon
now. They’renot boobytrapped. And I betthere’s another roomunderthis one.”
“Greatidea,” I toldSteve. Sowe starteddigging. SinceIwasstandingovertheblueclay block inthe middleoftheroom,Iknewit probablymeantsomething.
MaybeI’ll findthetreasure,I thought asIkeptdigging. IfI findthe treasure,I’mgoingtouseittobuyayear’s supplyofcakeandvideo games… MaybeIcan buyanewlittle brother too.
Allofasudden we hearda CLICK! The floor collapsed again!
“AAAHHHHHHH!!!!”
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
Oh man,that hurt.
Ifeltlikesomebody wassittingonme,sowhenIopenedmyeyesIwasn’t surprisedtofindSteve,Piggy andWesleyallpiledontopof me.
Iguessit’sgoodthattheydid,becauseIdon’t knowifStevecould’ve survivedthat fall. Humansare REAL FRAGILE, youknow. Ontheother hand,Zombiesarereallytough. Wecanfallfroma reallyhigh distanceand beOK.
EspeciallylittleZombies. One timeWesley felloutof mysecond floor bedroomwindow andhe justbouncedaroundlike arubber ball.
Actually,whenIwaslittle,DadandI usedtojumpofftheroofjustforfun. Except onetime Dadlandedonarake, andittookMomafewhoursto get itoutofhim. EverytimeDadturnedaroundhewouldhitMomontheback ofthehead. It wasclassic!
Alltheotherguys were MOANING and sayinghowtired theywere. I don’tknowhow theycould besotiredafterthatfall,buttheyjustfell asleep.
Funny,Iwas tiredtoo. MaybeIshouldtakeanaptoo.
It’sreallyhardtowrite thisjournal entry beingso tired. ButI haveto.
Who knows,ifwenever makeitoutofhere, thismay bemylast words, ever…
WEDNESDAY, I THINK…
Iwokeuptothetasteofbaconinmymouth. Urrrghhhblechhh! Somehow, Piggy’sfootendedupinmymouth! YEECCHHH!!! Then Stevewokeup. “Ohmyhead,” Stevesaid. “Howlongwereweout?” “Idon’t know,” Isaid. “Maybeafewhours.” Then PiggyandWesleywoke up. “Ihad the WEIRDEST DREAM that afishwassuckingonmytoes,”
Piggysaid. Ididn’tsay anythingaboutthat. “Wherearewe?” Steve said. “Whoa,” Piggysaid looking aroundatallof thechestsonthewall. “Ithink
thisisthetreasureroom.” “Treasure?!!” Stevesaidallexcited. “Yeah, but Ibetthey all haveboobytraps,” Isaid, not quite asexcitedas
everyone else. Welookedaround,and theonly thingthat LOOKED WEIRD wasagray plate inthemiddleoftheroom, right nexttomyfoot.“What’sthisgrayplatein themiddle oftheroom?” I carefullybackedaway
from it. “It’sa pressureplate,” Steve said, “AndIbetit’sconnected toa booby trap.”
Soeverybodystepped REALLY GENTLY away fromit.
Thenweheardacreakingnoise. WeturnedaroundandWesleyhadopened oneof thechestsand waslookinginside. “Well,atleastweknow thatchestisn’tboobytrapped,” Stevesaid. Welookedandtherewas abookinside. “We betternottouchit,” Isaid, “it’sprobably boobytrapped.” Ilooked attheotherguysto makesuretheyagreedwith me, when Iheard,
“Shiny!” Wesleyhadmovedthebookandtherewasabigfat DIAMOND underit. “Oooooohhhhh… Shiny!” Stevesaid, ashiseyesgrewreallybig.
Piggypicked upthebookandstarted reading it. Aminutelater, hesaid, “Heyguys,Ithinkthis book canshowus away out ofhere.”
“Really?” Iwentovertolookat the book withPiggy. “Yeah, itshowspictures ofan UNDERGROUND minecartsystemthatthe EgyptianZombiesused totransportsupplies.”
“What’sthat?” I pointedtothepictureofthefloorcollapsingunder an
Egyptianguy whowasholdingabigdiamond. “It justsays the same warningas before: ‘Beware,allwho enter here. Only thenoblewillsurvive.’”
“HeySteve,comecheckthis out… Steve?” “Oooooohhhhh… Shiny!” Stevesaid. Thepicturesuddenly madesense. “OH NO.” Stevepicked upthe diamond,andthefloorcollapsedunder usagain! “AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
Except thistime,wealllandedin aminecart.
Theminecartwasonarailon avery steephill. Sowhen we landed,the impactmade theminecartmove andstart goingdownthehilllikea
ROLLER COASTER.
“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
Weweregoingfaster andfasterthroughallkindsofunderground tunnels andhills. “WE’REALLGOING TODIE, RUYEEKK!!!!” Piggysquealed. Then Inoticedthatthewallswerechangingfromsandy white toclayred.
“Hey!Ithinkwe’re intheMesa Biome!” Isaid. Buttheguysdidn’tcare. Wewerealljustworried abouthow we were going tostop.
Then wesawit. Aheadofus,we couldseetheendoftheline. Itwasjust onebig,solid clay
wall. Weweregoing likeahundredmilesan hour,sowewereeithergoing togothroughit,orweweregoingtobe splatteredagainst it. “EVERYBODYGETDOWN AND HOLDON!!!” Steve said.BOOOOOMMM!
Wewentrightthroughthewall,andlanded inabig cavern. Theminecartflippedover andweallcrashedagainsttheotherwall.
IthoughtStevewasdeadforsure,butwhenIlookedoverathim, Wesley andPiggyhad grabbedonto himso tightthattheyhadprotectedhimfrom theimpact.
IrealizedIgrabbedontohimtoo, atleastmybodywas stillholdingonto him. Myheadwaslookingatmybodyfromthe OTHER SIDE ofthe cave,soIknewIhadissues.
Perfect timeforanother nap,Ithought.
THURSDAY?
Iwokeuptomyheadswingingaround. “Don’t worry,buddy,” Stevesaid. “I’llputyoubacktogether.” SoSteve putmyheadback on my body,andeverythingwasright withthe
world. Except when Ilooked down andsaw my ZOMBIE BUTT, Iknew somethingwasn’tright. Steve, Piggy, andWesleywerelaughing atmesoIknewtheydidit on
purpose. “Guys,comeon!” Isaid. “Sorry,wethoughtwecould usea GOOD LAUGH rightnow,” Steve
saidashe putmyheadon right. Then farawayin the cavern,wecould seealightthatwas slowlyfading. “Thatmustbe thewayout!” Steve said. Wepickedup allofourstuffandheadedtoward thelight.
Whenwegottotheedgeof thecave,we sawthatthe sunwasgoingdown. Whenitfinallywentdownwewentoutsideandlookedaround.
Everythingwas madeof brightredclay.Wemadeit!
“We madeitto theMesaBiome!” I saidexcitedly. “Nowwejust need to figureouthowtoget totheGrandZombieCanyon.”
“Yeah, exceptwedon’tknowwhichwayto go,” Stevesaid.
Welookedover the horizonandsaw SOME SMOKE coming from down
thehill. So we decidedtowalkovertheretoseeifwe canaskfordirections. Whenwegotthere,wefound the strangestlookingZombiemakingsome stewoverafire.
“Excuseme,sir,” Isaid. “Can youhelp usfindtheGrand ZombieCanyon?” Allofasudden hejumpeduplike somethinghadbithim onthebutt. “Whoa!Whatyou fellerstrying todo, sneakinguponmelike that?” he
said. “Sorrysir,we’rejust tryingto findourwaytothe GrandZombieCanyon.”
“You’re lost, areye?” he said. “Well,Ireckonit’sa fulltwonight’swalk in thatdirection.” Hepointedtowardthehorizon.
“TWO NIGHTS?!!”
“Yep,butyou know, there’sa town afewmilesahead, whereyez cangeta good nightsleep andsomefood,for yerlongjourney.”
“Yeah, thatsounds good,” Stevesaid. “So whichwayisit?” “Oh,it’sdowntheroad,over the hill, throughthemountains,around the creek, undertherockthatlookslikea BIG CARROT, andupthepath… Can’tmiss it.”
“Thankyou,Mr…?”
“CallmeProspectorJoe,” he saidspitting. “Beenprospectingthis landfor 30years,searchingfor diamonds. Thisismyland,itis… SPIT!” “Oh,Ok. ThanksProspectorJoe,” Isaidaswewalkedtowardthetown. Therewas somethingweirdaboutthat guy,Ithought. Ijustcouldn’t putmyfingeronit.
LATE THURSDAY I THINK…
“We’vebeenwalkingaroundforhours,” Isaid. “Whereisthisplace?”
“Well,wewentdowntheroad, overthe hill, through themountains,around thecreek,undertherockthatlooks likeabigcarrot, andupthepath,” Steve said. “I wonder ifwemissedsomething.”
Iwasthinking,we’dbetterfindit fastbecausethe sun willbe RISING SOON.
“There itis!” Piggy said Welookeddowna STEEP CAVERN, andonthebottomwecouldsee a small town. “Ohman, Igotabad feeling about this,” Isaidto Steve.Ashadylooking town…
Wegotto thebottom ofthecavernand walked intothetown. Onlyproblem wasthatthe placewastotally DESERTED. There were no mobs around:
noZombies,no Skeletons,noCreepers, noSlimes;notevenanEnderman moving stuff around. “Thisplacegivesmethecreeps,” Piggy said.
“Whatisthisplace?” I askedSteve. Then wesawit,a wanted posterthatlookedlike it’dbeenpostedupyears ago.“Hey, isn’t that...?”
“Youmeanthe weirdZombiewemet before?” Steve said,finishingmy sentence. “WhydoIgetthefeelingthat we’rein trouble?” Isaid. “Heyguys…” Piggysaid, ina TREMBLING voice, “Look.”
Wealllooked up,and there wasagangofroughlookingZombieson Zombiehorses,withprospectorJoeleadingthe bunch. Weturnedaround andtherewas another groupbehind us.
“Wheredoyerthinkyergoing?” ProspectorJoecalled outinasmugvoice.
“Uh… Mr. ProspectorJoe sir… WewerejustgoingtoourZombiefamily reunion, he,he,” Isaid. “Iknowwhatyou’reupto. You’re tryingto getmediamonds, youis.” He
spatagain. “Well,itain’tgonnahappen… GET’EM, BOYS!” Allofasudden,theZombiesgotofftheirhorsesandjumpedatus. Beforetheycouldgrabus, SteveputWesleydownand yelled, “Run,
Wesley, Run!”Wesleyranaroundthegangof Zombiessofasttheycouldn’tcatch him. He BIT THEM ontheanklesandtheystarted hoppingaround. OnethingaboutlittleZombies isthat they’re reallyhard tocatch. Weweren’t sofast orsolucky. “Run,Wesley,Run!!!” Weallyelledastheyputus insomesacksandtook
ustowhoknowswhere.BY NOW I’M NOT SURE WHAT DAY IT IS…
Wetravelledforawhile. Theywouldn’ttelluswherewe were going. I heardus geton some MINECARTS soIknowwewentreallyfar. I’m starting tothinkthat not onlywillImiss the Zombiefamilyreunion,I won’t makeitoutofthisalive!
Finally,wearrivedsomewherethat wasreallyhot.
They carried usontheirshouldersforawhileanditgothotter andhotter.
Iwas REALLY WORRIED aboutlittleWesley,though. I hopehegot away, Ithought. Even thoughhe’smypeskylittlebrother,Iwouldn’twant anythingtohappentohim.
Then theydumped usallontheground:
THUD!
THUD!
THUD!
They tookusoutofthesacksandwe were inacavenextto apool fullof
LAVA.
“Let’sjustsee ifstayinghere ferawhilewillloosenyourtonguesupabit,” ProspectorJoesaidlaughing. “Comeon, boys,if they’re not readyto talk whenwegetback, we’lljusthaveto throw’em in. Heya,heya, heya!”
Whentheywalkedout, Isawthecavewasn’tjustacave—ithadbarsto keep usin. Then theyslammedthejailcelldoor ofthecaveand lockedit
behindthem.
“Man, it’s reallyhotdownhere,” Steve said.TheLavaPool
“You’re NOT KIDDING,” Isaid, “Zombiesdon’tsweat, youknow.” “It’snotsobad. It kindofremindsmeofhome.” Piggy SHRUGGED, looking around. “Well,weneedto findawayoutofhere,” Stevesaid. “What’stheplan?”
“Idon’t know, Steve. I’mkind offeelinglike it’s hopeless,” I said. Then Istarted crying. “You,OK, BUDDY?” Steveputhishandonmyshoulder.
“Yeah, it’s justthatI’m reallyworriedaboutWesley,youknow. He’s all aloneoutthereandwhoknows whattheydidtohim. Iknowhe’smylittle brother andhe’s apest,butI’m reallyworriedabouthim.”
Then all ofa suddenweheard, “ZUMBIE!”
Werantothejailcell door.
“It’sWesley!!!”
“Wesley,greatgoing,buddy,” Stevesaid, “Yougotawayfromthoseguys.”
IgrabbedWesley’shandandIsaid, “Wesley,I’m sogladyou’re OK. And I’mreallysorryabout allofthosethings I saidaboutyou. You’rethebest littlebrotheranybodycouldeverhave. Butyouhaveto gonow,buddy. I don’tknowwhat’s goingtohappentous downhere,and Iwantyouto be safe,OK?” I saidcrying.
Wesleyjustlookedatmewithabig smile onhisfaceand said, “Shiny!” as heheldup THE KEYS tothejailcell.
So,wetookthekeysandescaped. Butwecouldhearthegangof Zombiesrightbehindus. “Theymustknowweescaped,” Stevesaid. “Run!” Weraninto EVERY CAVE wecouldfind, but wedidn’tknow whichway
togo. Then weranintoabigcaveinfrontofus,but itwasa dead end. Allofasudden,ProspectorJoeandhisthugscame inand corneredus. “Thisistheendofthe lineforyouboys,” hesaid. “Whatdoyou think,
Wilbur,shouldwefeed them tothebraineatinghumans,heya,heya?” “Yeah, Joe!I’m surethepigisgoingto makeanice BREAKFAST for those humans!Heya,heya,heya!”
Piggygotreallyscaredwhenheheardthat andstartedtocry, “Squeal, Squeal,Ruyeek… Not thehumans, pleasenotthe humans!” Andhecurled upintoalittleballonthefloor.
Allofasudden,Steve stepped forward. HewasmadderthanIhad everseen himbefore.
“Youwanttoseesomebraineating humans?!!!”
Then he wipedthe GREEN MAKEUP offhisface, andyelled, “YAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!”Thereturnof Human Steve!
“He’sabraineatinghuman!!!!” ProspectorJoeyelled. Hisgang started screaming. They all turnedwhiteandfellovereach othertryingto runaway. “YARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!” Stevekeptyelling. ProspectorJoeand HIS GOONS ranawayasfastastheycould. “That’llshowthemtomesswithus again!” Stevesaid.
Then welooked overatPiggyandhewas staringatSteve,stillscared,in his littleball. “Pleasedon’teatmybrains, Steve… Squeal,squeal, ruyeek,” Piggysaid. “Don’t worry,Piggy,IonlyeatregularZombiebrains,” Stevesaid smiling. “Whoa,” Piggysaid. Stevelooked atme,andsaid, “JUST KIDDING.”
Sowe madeourway through theundergroundtunnelsuntilwefounda sign thatsaid:MINECARTS TO GRAND ZOMBIE CANYON THIS WAY
“Hey, guys,look!” Isaid. “Thisistheway totheGrandZombieCanyon!”
Wemadeit totheminecarts,butthereweren’tanyleft. Ithinkthe prospectorstookthemallrunningawayfromSteve. ButPiggyfoundanold BROKEN DOWN onewithoutbrakes. “Willthiswork?” heasked. “Youbetitwill,” Steve said. “Anythingto get outofthis placeandsee my Mom andDad again,” Isaid. “Well,itdoesn’thaveanybrakes,butthatneverstoppedusbefore,” Steve
said. “Hey,who’supforanotherminecartride?” “LES DO ID!” Wesleysaid.
Sowe alljumpedintotheminecart. Steve tooka running startandjumped intotheminecarttopushusforward.
Well,hopefullywe’reon ourwaytoGrand Zombie Canyon. Hopefully, I’ll seeMomandDadagain. Andhopefullywe’llmake itto ourZombiefamily reunion.
Aftereverythingelsethat’shappenedto us,nothingelsecould possiblybe worse.
…RIGHT?
FEELS LIKE SATURDAY…
Boywas Iwrong! Theminecartridewasso longthat allofusfellasleep. Wecametostopsomewhere,andwokeuptothesoundofachicken
CLUCKING.
Iblinkedandsaw achickenstanding onmy face. “Heycansomebodygetthischickenoffme?” Isaid. “Chicken!” Wesley saidashe chased itaround.
Whenwegotoutoftheminecart, wesawthat wewereinanother bigUNDERGROUND CAVERN.
“Iwonderwherewearenow?” Isaid,discouraged thatwewerestilllost. “Listen… Canyou hearthat?” Steveasked,tiltinghisheadtohear better. Itsoundedlikemusic. Then Irealizedwherewewere…“Wemustberight undertheGrand
ZombieCanyon!” Isaid. “That mustbethemusicfrom theZombiefamily reunion!”
“YEEAAAHHH!!” weallyelled. Then all ofa sudden,wefelt a BIG RUMBLE. Thenabunchof big rocks crasheddown.
“Lookout!” Steveyelled,asrocks felldownfromthecaveceiling. Weran for cover.
Whenitstopped,Stevesaid, “Thisplacemustbereallyunstable. Anyloud soundcancause acave-in.”
Sowe quietlywalkedthroughthe cavetunnelslookingfora wayout. Except for ourcluckingchicken. Itwasn’tthatquiet.
IthoughtIsawa lightcomingfrombehindapileofrocks infrontofus,so
Ipointeditouttotheguys. Whenwestartedmovingtherocksoutoftheway, we foundacavewitha bright REDSTONE torchinit.
Afterwemoved enough rocks outof the way,wecouldn’tbelievewhatwe
saw. Therewas askeletoninauniformonthefloorwithagoldswordinone hand andabookin theother.
“Whoa,what’sthat?” Piggy asked. “It looks likeasoldier,” Steve said. “I wonder what he’sdoinghere.” “Hey, myMomsaidthatthelastbattleofthelastZombie Apocalypse was
foughtintheGrandZombie Canyon,” Isaid. “Iwonderif he wasasoldier
from the war.” “Butyousaidthat Zombiesdon’t die,” Stevesaid,checkingoutthe body. “Thisguy’sbeendead along time.”
Stevesatthesoldier uptogeta betterlook athim,and thenweallsawit. Therewas big crackanda holeintheskeleton’sskull.
“Look.” Steve pointedtosomebigrocks nexttohim. “He musthavebeen hiton THE HEAD bysomeof those fallingrocks.”
“Yeah, my Dadsaidthattheonlythingthatcould killaZombieis areally hardblowtothehead.”
Piggysawthegoldswordandwantedtogetit. Butas hereachedforit,he slippedandfell.
“SQUEAL!” heyelledashefelldown. Suddenly,therumblingstartedhappeningagain. Exceptthistimegiant bouldersstartedfalling.
“IT’SACAVE-IN!” Steveyelled, “EVERYBODYGETDOWN!”
Bouldersand rocksstarted fallingfromallovertheplace. Andthenaftera fewminutesit stopped. “COUGH, COUGH… IseverybodyOK?” Stevecalledout. “Yeah, we’regood,” Isaid. ThenIlooked attheentranceto thecave and
said, “Oh no!” Wealllooked attheentrance,andit wastotally blockedby giant boulders. “Quick,trytohelp memovesomeof these,” Stevesaid. Butno matterhowhardwetried,theywouldn’tbudge. “Ohman, Ithinkwe’restuckinhere,” Stevesaid. Steve’s wordsechoedthroughthecave,alongwith themusicfromtheparty
thatwas going on upabove. Wewereso close, I thought.
Then somethingcameovermeandI yelledat thetopof my voice,“HEEEELLLPPP!!!”
Then therumbling startedhappening again, exceptthis timetheentire ceilingstartedslowly comingdown. Itstoppedafterdroppingaboutafoot. That’swhenIrealizedthatwecouldn’tevencallfor help. Wewerestuck.
THIS MAY BE MY LAST ENTRY EVER…
Wewerein thecave forhours. Itactuallyfeltlikean ENTIRE DAY passed by.
Weweretired, andwewerehungry. StevekeptlookingatWesley’schickeninweirdways,so I knewthatthe situationwas affecting himtoo.
PiggywaspassingthetimebyreadingfromtheZombiesoldier’sjournal. He wasreally intoit,readingpageafterpage.
“Hey, what areyoureading,Piggy?” I askedhim. “Thisbook isamazing!It’sthesoldier’sfirst-handexperienceof theentire ZombieApocalypse,” Piggysaid. “I’mactuallyreadinghislastentry. I’ll readittoyou…”
PrivateShermanZombie—234thInfantry ThisMayBeMyLastEntryEver… We’vebeenstuckinthiscaveforthepast 103 DAYS. Wecan’tcallforhelp,because thecaveissounstablethat even theslightest
noise willcausea cave-in. Everydaywe havetoavoidgettinghitby rocks
thatrandomlyfalldownonus. MybigbrotherRhemusis tryingto dohisbesttostaypositive,butIcan see inhiseyesthatheknows thatour HOPE IS LOST.
Allwehaveisourlittleredstone torchtogiveus alittlelight. Andall Ican doispass the timewritingaboutour experiencesdownhere. But mypencil isgoingtorunoutsoon.
Even thoughI maynever feelthefreshnightaironmyfaceever again, the
onegoodthingisthatmybrotherisrightherewith me. Iknowwe’vehadourtroubles. Brothers alwaysdo. ButInowrealizethat havinga brother isthe BEST GIFT anyZombie could askfor.
There’stherumbling soundagain. Ihope I…” Wewerequietforalongmoment. “Andthatwas thelastentry,” Piggy said. “Did hesay thathisbrother’snamewas Rhemus?” IaskedPiggy. “Yeah, why?” “Thismust bemy great,great,great,great,grandpaRhemus’ little brother,”
Isaid. “WhichmeansthatgrandpaRhemusfounda wayoutofhere, andwe
cantoo! Comeon!” Allofasudden,something cameover me. I wassodetermined tofind a wayoutthatIdidn’t careabout the fallingrocksanymore. Iwas justtrying tomoverockafterrocktosee ifwecouldmake ahole bigenough forus to getout.
Theotherguysgotinspiredand startedmovingrocks too. “Hey, Ifeelfreshair!” Steve saidas he createdasmallholeatthe top ofthe pileofrocks.
“Can yougetthroughthere?” I askedSteve.
“Naw,it’stoosmallforany ofus,” hesaid.
Then weall turnedaroundandlookedatWesley.
LittleWesleyjustsaid, “Lesdoid!”
Wemovedfastto getWesleyandhisnewchickenthroughthehole.
“Followthemusic,Wesley,” Itoldhim. “Find Mom andDad. Andfind grandpaRhemus. Heknows howtofindus.”
As I saidgoodbye tohim,the cave startedrumblingagainand the ceiling DROPPED another foot,covering the holewemade.
Sonowit’suptoWesley,I thought. Nowitwasupto mylittlebrotherwho Icalleda pestmostof his life. ThelittlebrotherIgotmadatalot and bulliedsometimes. ThelittlebrotherthatIusedto be jealousofbecause Mom andDad paidmoreattentionto himthan tome. The littlebrotherthat Iwished hadneverbeenborn.
Mylittle brother Wesley…thatI mightnotever seeagain...
Wesley, ifIdon’t makeitout,andyou findmyjournal,Ijustwanttotell youthatyouarethe BEST LITTLE BROTHER thatany Zombiecould everhave.
AndIloveyouwithallmyheartand I always will…MONDAY
Iwokeuptodayto the rumblingsound ofthecave. Ithink that’sgoingto bethe lastrumbling soundIwilleverhear, Ithought. Yousee,thecaveceiling hadalmost totallycollapsedsothatit was AN
INCH frommy face.
SteveandPiggywerealsotrapped,butthey were stillOK. Wejust kept each other talkingtopass the time. AllIwashopingforwas thatWesleywas OK,andthat hefound his way
safelyoutofthecave.
SUDDENLY, weheard some voices. “There itis!” I heardsomebodysay. “Quick!Zeke,Billy Ray,Mabel,Otis, Roscoe,move thatbigboulderout
from infrontof thecave!Butbecareful,therecouldbeanothercave-in.” Then Iheardabig boulder moveas thecave startedtorumbleagain. “Mutant,putyour back upagainsttheceiling,” I heard. UUURRRGGHHH!!!! “Alrighteverybody,dig!” Iheardabunchof digging noisesandthenIfeltahand feeling aroundmy
face.
“Igotone!”
Then somebodygrabbedmebythecollar anddraggedme out tothe BLINDING LIGHT of somebody’s torch. “Zombie!” Iheardvoicesthatsoundedlike my Mom andDad. “Mom…Dad…Piggy andStevearestill…in there.” Isaid,too weak totalk. “Mutant,push upthatceiling!”
“UURRRGGHHHH!!”
Then Iheardsomebodysay, “Ismellbacon!IthinkIgotanother one!” AndtheydraggedPiggyout. Then Iheardsomebodysay, “Ismellpickles! I think Igotthelastone!” AndtheyyankedSteve,coveredindust,outoftherubble. “Is thateverybody?AlrightMutant, letitgo!” “UUUURRRRGGGHHHH!!!!”BOOOOMMMM!!!
“Everybodyout, beforethecavernfallsdownonus!!!”
AllIrememberafterthat isthatI wasonDad’sshouldersbeingcarriedout ofthecave. Piggy,clutchingthesoldier’sdiary,wasbeing carried byhis Dad. And MutantwascarryingSteve.
Then everythingwentblack…
TUESDAY
WhenIwokeup,Iwas inbed. Ilooked aroundand itlookedlikeIwasinahospitalcaveof some kind. Ilooked out ofthecaveentranceandnoticed thatitwas night out. I could
hear MUSIC in thebackgroundsoI knew thatIwasstillat theZombie
familyreunion. As I lookedovertotheotherbeds, I couldseemyMomgiving waterto Steve.
Steve!Ithought,Ohno! WhatifMomfindsout? Mom sawthat I was AWAKE andcameovertomybed. “Howareyou feeling,Zombie?” Mom asked. “I’m OK,” Isaid. ButallIwasthinking aboutwasMomfindingoutabout Steve. Shesawme looking inSteve’sdirectionandsaid, “Oh,don’tworryabout Zven. His secretis safewithus.”
Shedidn’t care?Wow,sometimesmymomcanreallysurpriseme. “There’ssomebodyherethat wasreally worriedaboutyou,” Mom said. “ZUMBIE,” Wesleysaidclimbing onmy bed.
“Wesley!” Igavehimsuch abighugthat IthinkIhurtsomething. Wesleylooked atmeand said, “I lub youtoo,Zumbie.”
Then he tookoff ridingon his newchicken.Wesley andhisnew Chicken
WhenIfinallygotup, Isawthat bothPiggyandSteveweresleeping. By Piggy’sbedwasthe SOLDIER’S DIARY fromthecave. Ipickeditup becauseIknewwhatIhadtodowithit.
WhenIgotoutofthecaveIsawhundreds ofmyrelativeseverywhere. I sawuncleRufus andhiswholefamily. Isaw Piggy’sparents. Isaw my uncleWitherandthemesshewasmakingeverywhere. And, Ievensaw Mutant.
Ineverknewthat Mutant waspart ofmyfamily. ButIalwaysknewthat MutantandIhada SPECIAL CONNECTION. All Zombiesarerelated anyway,soI wasn’treallysurprised toseehimthere.
Dadcameuptome,andareallyoldZombiethat wascoveredinmedals hobbledalongsideof him.
“Zombie,it’sgreattoseeyou’re feeling better,” Dadsaid. “Ihavesomeone special I want tointroduceto you.” “Zombie,thisisgrandpaRhemus,” Dadsaid. “Howareyou,sir?” Iasked. “I’m fine,” hesaid. “Moreimportantly,how areyou?” “I’m feelingbetter,” Isaid. Then Itookthe soldier’sjournaloutofmy
POCKET.
“GrandpaRhemus,Ithinkthisbelongstoyou,” I said. Hiseyesocketsgrewreally big ashelookedat the journal. “It’sSherman’s journal,” he saidashis EYE SOCKETS startedtearing
up. “Youreally lovedyour brother,didn’tyou?” I askedhim. “Shermanwasthebestlittle brother anyZombiecouldhave,” hesaid.
“Thankyou,Zombie,youdon’tknow howmuchthis meanstome.”
“Well,Zombie,areyoureadyfor SOME CAKE?” Dadasked. Boywas Iever! Then all ofa sudden,themusic stoppedandeverybody got quiet. They all staredin horroratthehospitalcave. WhenIturnedaround, I saw
thatStevehad wokenupand walkedout ofthehospital cave looking as humanashehadeverbeen. Oh man,nowwereinbigtrouble,Ithought.
“IT’SABRAIN EATINGHUMAN!” somebodyyelled. Allofasudden everythingwent CRAZY. Butthen,somebodyyelledreallyloudly, “SIIIILLLLENCE!!!!” AricketyoldZombiewalkedthroughthe crowdtowardSteve. He cameuptohimandlookedhimover. IcouldseeonSteve’sface thathethoughthewasdeadforsure. Then therickety oldmanyelled, “HE’SOK!” “Heerrraayyyy!!!!He’s OK!!!!” Everybody yelled. Then themusicstartedagainandeverybodywentbacktotheirpartying.
“Dad, WHAT WAS THAT allabout?” Iasked him.
“Oh,didn’t youknow? GrandpaMethuselahusedtobehumanbefore becameaZombie,” Dadsaid. “Hefell inlovewithGrandmaSmelda Zombieabout900years ago, anddecidedtoswitchsides. Buthestill hasa softspotfor humans.”
Then Steve, Piggy, WesleyandI,and the restof theZombieclan,just partied till DAYLIGHT.
WEDNESDAY
Sothis hasbeenthebestsummerever.
Butunfortunately ithastocometo anend.
Schoolstartsinafewweeks,andI’mactuallylookingforwardtogoing back.
I’mlookingforwardtoseeing my bestfriendsSkelee,Slimeyand Creepy again. AndI’m reallylookingforwardtoseeingmy ghoulfriendSally.
IthoughtIwasgoing tospendthe wholesummerplayingvideo gamesand eatingcake. ButIwouldn’ttradethesummer Ihadforallofthevideo gamesorcakein THE OVERWORLD.
So,I’m goingintoeighth gradethisyear,whichis reallyscary.
Ithink itmeans thatIneedtogrowup.
Butwhateverisinstoreforme, andnomatter howdifficultitgets,theone thing I cancountonarethe loveofmyfamily andtheloveof my friends. And,Ican especiallycountonmybestbudSteve.
So,getready eighthgrade,hereIcome!FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
ZOMBIE IS BACK AT SCHOOL... asan eighth grader!
Butwithsucha strict teacher and tough exams,Zombie isfindingittoughat ScareSchool! Will Zombie make it throughthefirstfew weeksof EIGHTH GRADE?