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Diary of a Minecraft Zombie: Zombie Goes to Camp
2.0
Quiz number: 174914
Table of Contents
SUNday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
SaturdayEvening
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
FridayMorning
FridayNight
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Findoutwhathappens
next!
Copyright ©2015Zack ZombiePublishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part ofthispublicationmay be reproduced, distributed,or transmitted inany formor by anymeans, electronicor mechanical,including photocopying,recording,scanning,or by anyinformationstorageor retrievalsystem, withouttheprior written permissionof the publisher,exceptinthecaseofbrief quotationsembodiedin criticalreviews and certain other non-commercialuses permittedbycopyright law.
This unofficialnovelis an original work offanfictionwhichisnotsanctioned nor approved by the makers ofMinecraft. Minecraftisaregistered trademarkof, and ownedby, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners,whichdo not sponsor, authorize,or endorse thisbook. All characters,names,places,andotheraspectsof thegame describedherein aretrademarkedand ownedbytheirrespectiveowners. Minecraft®/TM& ©2009-2016 Mojang.SUNDAY
OnemoreweekandI’moff tocamp. Ikindahavemixedfeelings aboutit. Ireallydon’twanttogo, becauseIwould ratherstay home andplayvideo
gamesand eatcake everydayforthe WHOLE SUMMER.
But, myfriendCreepyfeelsreallylonelyat camp, not tomention thathe getspickedon by the other kids. Thatburns me up andmakes me feellike Ihave tobethereforhim. So,I’m goingtocamp intheSwampBiomeforthenextthreeweeks,not
knowingif I’mgoingto comebackalive. Yousee,Ithinkthecampcounselors arereally BRAIN EATING HUMANS thatarejustwaitingforthenext batchof mobkids tofilltheir bottomlessstomachs. Also,I’veheardrumorsof the cafeteria foodcomingtolifeand terrorizing campers. Ithoughtthecampnursewasarottenflesheatingwitch,too. ButImether recentlyandshe seemsprettynormal. …Or,maybeshe’sonly normal when she’s athernormaljob?Whatif she changesat campandbecomesahideousshe-demonthateatszombiekids
for breakfast? Wow. Idon’tthinkIwantto go tocampanymore. SORRY, CREEPY, you’re onyourown.
WhatamIthinking? Ineed tobeagoodfriend. Andgoodfriendsaretherewhenyou need them. So,Iguess I’mgoingto camp. AtleastthegoodthingIcanlookforwardtoisthatSteveiscomingtoo. So,Iguess ifIdie,Iwon’t be alone.MONDAY
TodaymyMomandDadtook metoget some campinggearformytripto camp.
Ithoughtweweregetting acouple of DIAMOND SWORDS, some armor,abowandarrow,aRedstone machinegun,a pickaxe, andashovel incaseIneedto burysomeofthecounselors andhidetheir bodies.
…Youcan’tbetoocarefulwhenyou’regoingto war.ButMomandDadjustlaughedatmewhenItoldthemaboutallof the dangersIwas going tofaceat camp.
Why isitthat PARENTS NEVER takekidsseriously? Oneday, some kid somewhereisgoingto declarethenext Human Apocalypse,andparents aregoingtosay, “Haha,you’resofunny, junior!” Andthengeteatenbysomebraineating humans.
AndI’m goingtobetheretosay, “See, that’swhat youget!” Justsayin’.
Butme,I’mgoingtobeprepared.
Ifmyparentsaren’tgoingtogetmetheweaponsIneed, I’mgoingtohave togetthemsomewhereelse.
AndIknow whoto getthemfrom too.
IcanalwayscountonSteveforstufflikethat,andI’m surehehasan arsenal in HIS BASEMENT or something.
Mom canwasteher timeonmaggotsprayand Zombie-wipes. …butIamreallygladshenever forgetstopackthecookies andmilk.TUESDAY
AnothergoodthingaboutgoingtocampisthatIdon’thavetobe around mylittlebrotherfor three weeks.
Don’tgetmewrong. Ilove my littlebrother. Ijustdon’tlikehim very much.
Imeanhe’s cuteand funsometimes,butmostof the timehe’s SO ANNOYING.
He always takes my stuff, andthen hebreaksit.
Whenweplayvideogames,Momalwaysmakesmeplay thegameshe likes.
Andhealso getsawaywitheverything. Likewhenwegetintoafight, Mom andDad alwaystakehisside.
They saythatIshouldbenicerto himbecausehe’sonly fouryearsold,but Iknowthetruth. Iknowthathe’s POSSESSED by the spirit ofa sixteen yearold humandemon,andonlyIcansee it.
Butthepart I hatethemostaboutmy littlebrotheristhatbeforehewas bornmy Mom andDad gaveme alloftheirattention.
Now,theygive himallof theattention.
SometimesIdon’t mind,because Idon’twantmyparent’sattentionallof thetime.
ButwhenIdowanttheirattention,they’reeitherbusyworking orplaying withmylittlebrother.
It’skindalonelysometimes.
So,Iguess three weeksawayfrommylittlebrotheris worthgoingto camp. Even ifIamenteringintoa warofepicproportions. Hmmm. MaybeIshouldtake mylittlebrotherwithmeand usehimasa
ZOMBIE SHIELD?
Naah, he’stoosmall. I’llprobablystillgeteaten. Icouldusehim asammoformyzombiecatapultthough…
WEDNESDAY
Iwent togovisit Stevetodayto talkaboutour strategyforsurviving camp. Iwent toour usual spot,butIcouldn’tfindhim. Iwalkedby some bushes,whenallofasudden…
“HHEEEAAHHHHHHH!!!!”
“AAAHHHH!!!” Iyelled. Stevejumpedoutof thebushes,alldressedingreenandbrownpaint. “HeyZombie!” Stevesaid. “What’dyou do thatfor?!!” Isaid. “Youscared thelifeoutofme!” “ButI thought youweredead?” Stevesaid. “Forgetit. WHAT’S UP withtheoutfit?” I asked. “Iputittogethersothatwecanhideout andcatchourenemiesby
surprise,” Stevesaid. “I’vegotsomemoregreenand brownpaintforyou
too.” “Don’t worryaboutme,” Isaid, “Afterthatscare,IthinkI madeenough greenandbrownpainttolast methewholesummer.
SoSteve,whatkindof weaponsdoyouhave?Ithinkwe’regoing toneed asmany aswecan getagainst thosebraineatingcamp counselorsandthe cafeteriafoodmonster.”
“Honestly, Idon’thaveany,” he said. “I justhavemypickaxe,butIusedit somuch thatthedurabilityisalmostgone.”
“Aw,Man. What arewegoingto do?We’regoingto bedefenseless,” I said. “Not totally,” Steve said. “I stillhavemy CRAFTING TABLE. Ibetifwe broughtitwith us,wecan craft some cooltoolsandweaponsat theSwamp Biome.”
“Also, wecouldmakesomeTNT,” Steveadded. “Whoa. Howdoyoumake it?” “Well,youneedsandandgunpowder,” hesaid. “Ihaveplenty ofsandbutI
need gunpowder.”Stevewantsthis
“Wheredoyougetit?” Iaskedhim.
“Well,youcan getitfroma DUNGEON CHEST. But that’lltake forevertofind,” hesaid. “Is there ANYWHERE ELSE youcan getit?” Iasked.
“Youcan alsogetit from killingaGhast ora Creeper,” hesaid.
Weboth lookedateachotherforaminute. “Naah,” webothsaid.
Sowe’regoingintobattle withonlyacrafting table,a weakpickaxe,and plentyofgreenand brownpaint. Notmuchofadefense,butit’sgoing tohaveto do. CREEPAWAY CAMP,here we come! OORAH!
THURSDAY
Today,afterdinner,myparentshad atalkwithmeaboutwhattoexpect whenIgotocamp.
Ididn’treallyneed thetalk,becauseSteve andIwerealreadymountinga STRONG DEFENSE againsttheevilsthatwerewaiting for usonthe CreepawayCampbattlefront.
ButIdecidedtoplay alonganyway.
“Zombie,you’regoingto beaway fromhome foran entirethreeweeks. That’sthelongestyou’veever been awayfrom us,” myMomsaid.
“Uhhuh.”
“We think it’s goodfor youbecauseit willhelp youbecomemore SELFRELIANT, andyouwill learn howtoworktogetherwithotherkidsand adults.”
TheonlyadultsI’mgoing toworkwitharethecamp counselorsSteveand I willbeinterrogating.
“You’llalsohave tolearnhowto “roughit” son,” Dadsaid. “Kindoflike whenyouand I go onour campingtrips. Thatmeansnovideogames,no television,andno computer for three wholeweeks.”
WHAT?
“Butyou’llhave plentyoftime toread, andplenty oftimeto write lettersto yourfriends,” Mom said. “Andyou’llalsohaveplentyoftime tomake crafts, whichI’m sureyou’lllike.”
Wait aminute. No video games. Notelevision. Nocomputer. Readingand writingeveryday. And making crafts? I’mnotsure I’mreadyforthis.
“Now,youmayfeelalittle HOMESICK,” Dadsaid. “What’sthat?... That’sgood,right?” I asked. “Well,feelinghomesickmeansthatyou’llreallywanttocomehome,” he
said. Man,Ifeelthatwayright now,and I haven’tevengoneto camp yet. “Butdon’t worry,I’msureyou’llhavesomuchfun,that you’llforget all
aboutit,” Dadadded,asheshared alook withmymom.
Wow, thatwas supposedtobe apeptalk, but Ifeelworsethanever.
Howam Isupposedtogetthroughthreeweekswithoutvideogames, television ormycomputer? Thisfeelsmorelike PRISON CAMP.
Man,thisisgoingto bealot harderthanIthought.
FRIDAYWell,today ismylastdayoffreedom. Tomorrow, Iface thehorrors ofwar, asIcome facetofacewith MY ENEMIES atCreepawayCamp. Imaynot makeitbackalive. ButIgoknowingthatmyfriendCreepyiscountingonme,andI won’tlet himdown. Notto mention, Icarryonmyshouldersthefateofeverymobkidthat will evergotoCreepaway Camp. IfIfail,the campcounselorswill feastonthebrainsof countlessmobkids for yearstocome. Andthecafeteriamonsterwillhaveits fill oftheremains.
ButifIwin, withthehelpofmytrusted friendSteve,wewillchangethe faceofhistory, andmakecamp the BEST PLACE tobeallsummer.
Ourbattlemaygodownin historyasthegreatestbattle everfought.
Wemay even createa nationalholidayforittoo.
Andfromourvictory,wewill givethepowerbacktothe kids,andmake campaplaceforkids, runbykids.
Then we’llcallit whatitshould’vebeen calledinthefirstplace: “Play Video GamesandEatCakeAllDayCamp.”
Bringit!
SATURDAY
Igotupreallyearlytodayandbroughtmystuffdownstairs. MyMom, Dad,andlittlebrowerewaitingfor me bythe door. “Goodbye, son,” mymomsaid, ashereyesocketswelled upwithtears. “Thiswillbegoodforhim,honey,” myDadsaid. “Afew weeksinthe
Swamp Biomewill reallyput SOME MOLD onhischest.”
Sincethiswas the lasttime Iwasgoingtoseemyparentsbeforegoingoff towar,I thought itwasOKtogivethemahug. Iwasgoingtosaygoodbyetomylittlebrother,buthewasbusyrunning
aroundonhischicken. “Wesley,comesay goodbyeto yourbig brother,” myMomsaid. “Bye Bye,Zombie,” my littlebrothersaid. “Ihopeyou don’tdie.” Istillthoughtmylittlebrotherwouldmake GREAT AMMO formy
zombie catapult,butIknewmyMomwouldn’tgoforit. “Goodbye, littlebro,” Isaid. YouknowIactuallythinkI’m goingtomissthelittleminion.
WhenIgotoutside,thebushad justarrived.
AllIcouldseewasabunch of MOB KIDS lookingthroughthewindow, each witha lookontheirface thatsaid, “Yeah,we’re doomed.”
Itried tolookbrave,butIwas justas scaredastheotherkids. WhenIgotonthebus,IsawCreepyatthe back. “Zombie!Sit back herenextto me!” hesaid. Istarted making my waytothebackwhenallof asuddenaskeleton foot
cameoutof nowhereand tripped me. Ihit thefloor ofthe buswithmy face. It’sagoodthingIdon’thavea nose,Ithought. Then all ofthecamp kidsstartedlaughing.
WhenIgotup,therewas aWither Skeletonboy pointingatme and laughing.Man,anotherbully,Ithought.
WhenIgottothebackof thebus,Creepylooked atmelike heknew what I wasgoingthrough.
“Isee youmetNick,” Creepy said. “He’soneofthekidsthatbulliesme everyyearatcamp.”
Great, aWitherSkeletonnamedNickis going tobothermeforthenext three weeksatcamp. Whatelse couldgo wrong?
Then Creepy startedhissingagain…SATURDAY EVENING
It’sagoodthingthatCreepybroughthisliquid Nitrogeninhalerwithhim. Otherwiseallthemob kidswould betravelingto campinbodybags.
Don’tgetmewrong,body bagsare fun. Ijustdon’tthinktheypacked enough for all ofus.
Whenwefinallygotto the campinthe SWAMP BIOME,it wasalready late.
Wewerewelcomedbyallthecampcounselors. Ifiguredtheyweretrying tosizeusuptoseewhich oneof ushad thebiggest brainsto eatfirst.
IworeaZombiebaseball capsotheywouldn’tthinkthat justbecauseI had abigsquarehead,I carried thebiggest Zombiebrains.
“WelcomeCampers,” theheadZombieCounselor said. “My nameisJerry, Jerry Carcass, andIamtheheadcounselorat CAMP COBBLESTONE, thebestCreepawayCampthis sideoftheSwampBiome. I wouldliketolet youknowthat we arevery happythatallofyouhavejoinedus,and weare looking forwardto feeding those youngbrains ofyoursthis summer.”
Youmeanfeeding ‘on’ ouryoungbrains, Ithought.
“Youhaveallbeenassigned aheadcounselorwhowillhelpfamiliarizeyou withcamplife…”
“Did hesay TENDERIZE you?” IaskedCreepy.
“What?” Creepysaid.
“And, we arelookingforwardtoall ofyouhelpingusbeatthepantsoff of ourrival campdowntheroad, CAMP NETHER RACK, at ourCamp Moblympicsgamesinafew weeks,” hesaid.
“BOOOOOOO!!” yelledNick, the Wither Skeleton.
“What’seating him?” Iasked Creepy.
“NickusedtogotoCampNetherRack,buthegotkicked outfor POISONING somebody,” Creepysaid. “NowI think hetakesitouton all ofthekidshere.”
“Thankyou,campers!Andwe’relookforwardtohavingyou overfor breakfast tomorrow evening, brightandearly,” Jerrysaid. “Did hesay havingyou forbreakfast?” IaskedCreepy. “Zombie,why areyousojumpy?” Creepy asked. “Ijust wanttobereadywhenthe FIRST WAVE attacks,that’sall,” Isaid. Creepy justlooked atme…confused.SUNDAY
BANG!BANG!BANG! “Riseandshinecampers!” “Uuurrggh-huh?!!!” “Time togetupand takeinthat FRESH STALE Swampair!” thecamp
counselor said. “Whattimeis it?” oneofthecampers said. “It’ssundown!” Isaid. “Man,Inevergetupbeforenighttime.” Icouldtellthat noneofthemobkidsinmycabinevergotupthat early
either.
Themobkidsinmycabinarerealcool. Me andCreepyaretogether with twootherguys.
There’sEndy, who’sanEnderman.
Lastnightwewereallaskinghimto TELEPORT. Buthehasn’tlearned howtodo ityet. Hesaidthatallofthe other kidshisage canteleport,but for somereasonhecan’t.
Endy alsohassomepet Endermitesthathe brought withhimtocamp. I think they’re kindofweirdlooking,butEndylikesthem.
Andthenthere’s Flapper. He’sa GUARDIAN fromtheOceanBiome, whichis kinda weirdbecauseweallthoughtGuardians couldn’tlive
outsideofwater.
ButFlappersaid thatwasjust amyth. Hesaidthat Guardianscanbreathe in air andunderwater. He saidhe’s am-fi-bee-us,whateverthatmeans.
Flapperiskindafunny looking,though. Hedoesn’thavearmsandlegsso hejust flaps aroundtogetfromplacetoplace.
He alsohas ONE BIG EYE thatlookslikeit’sfollowingyou aroundall thetime.The Guardian ofourdorm -Flapper
Creepy saidthat ourcabinsusuallyhavefive mobkids, but forsomereason oursonlyhadfour, until… “Youguyshaveonemoreaddition toyourcabin,” the counselor said. Allofasudden,Nick,theWitherSkeleton walked in.
Allofuslookedateachotherwithalookthatsaid,Yup,we’redead. “Youguysgetacquainted, andIwill seeyouallat rollcall,” thecamp counselor said.
“What’sup, Cretans?” Nicksaid. “Letmesee,IthinkI’mgoing totakethis bunk,” he saidashe threwEndy’sstuffon the floor.
Ihelped Endy pickuphisstuffandfindanotherbunk. Creepy wastryingtobefriendly,so heaskedNick, “Hey Nick,howcome you’recomingtoourcabinthis year?Youneverchoose CABIN ZERO.”
“Whydoyoucare,Cretan?” he said. “But ifyouwanttoknow,Igotkicked outofmy other cabin, becauseoneofthekids blamed meforpoisoninghis petsquid.”
“Did youdo it?” Creepyasked. “Well,ifyou keep askingquestions,you’regonnafindout,” Nicksaid. Thisis goingtoalongthreeweeks,Ithought.
Afterrollcall,thecamp counselorshada cabininspection. The MESSIEST CABIN gotto befirstinlineforbreakfast. Well,I didn’twantto bethe firstto be cafeteriamonster chow, soI hadto makesureour cabinwouldlosetheinspection. Sowhile thecounselorswerecheckingtheothercabins, Iranto my cabin.
WhatcouldIdoto makesurewe failthisinspection? Iknow! Afterall fiveofus wentinthe BATHROOM earlier,weweresureto win
thecabininspectionwiththemessweleftinthere.
SoI flushed the toilet tomakesurewewould lose. Theyprobably wouldn’t expecttoseea cleantoiletina mobkid’scabin.
Workedlikeacharm!Wewerethelast onestogetin thebreakfast line.
Thecafeteriafoodmonstermusthavebeen fullaftereatingtheother mob kids. Becausewhen we gottothecafeteria,Ididn’tseeany MOB KID BODY partsor remains.
Man,that monstermust’vepickedthosekidsclean,I thought.
Ifoundtheotherkidsinmycabin andsatwith them toeat.
Imadesure nottoeatthe foodincase ithadmonster eggs. Icanimagine them hatchingin my STOMACH andthensome monsterburstingoutof mychest.
“I’m reallysadthat we failedourcabininspection,” Creepysaid.
“Yeah,” Endysaid. “Ispentlike anhourand fourcomicbookstryingto makesurethe bathroom wouldhelp uswin forsure.”
Thoseyoungcampers,Ithought,they aresoinexperienced withthehorrors ofwar. I didn’thavethehearttotellthemthetruth.
“DON’T WORRY guys,” Isaid. “Itwillall work outinthe end.”
They don’tknowhow closetheycame tocertaindeathatthehandsofthe cafeteriafoodmonster,Ithought.
Then FlappertheGuardianflappedovertoour table.
“Heyguys,didyouhear aboutthe TALENT SHOW they’rehaving atthe endof camp?” hesaid. “Weshould totallydosomething.”
“Ican playdrums, “Creepysaid. Wealllooked ateachotherconfused,especiallysinceCreepydoesn’thave anyarms.
“Ican playthe NoteBlocks,” Endysaid. “My mommade metakelessons.”Endy’sinstrument
“Ican jump onatambourine,” Flappersaid. “Butwestillneedsomebody to playguitar andsing. Howaboutyou,Zombie?”
“Ican do ameanairguitar,” Isaid, “soplayinga REAL GUITAR can’tbe thathard.”
“Thatsettlesit, let’smakea band!” Flapper said.
Allofuswerereally happyto beinthetalentshow. Butwe stillneededa singer.
Hmmm,I wonder ifStevecan sing.MONDAY
Man,it’sonlybeen twodaysandIalready missmyvideogames,my computer andmyTV.
Istilldon’tknow whyparentswould beOK sendingtheir kidsawaytobe torturedlikethis.
Thecampcounselorstried totakeourmindsoffofthe screenbyfilling the daywith activities.
ButIcouldtellitwasn’t working.
Isawa Zombiekidwith adazedlookonhis face ashewalkedaround, moving his handslikehewas using his VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER.
Anotherkidmadea videogameconsoleoutofhismacaroniart, andhekept tryingto playit.
Andatlunch,anothermob kid turnedhisfoodintoa videogame!Thiskindof TORTURE isjustpureevil…
TUESDAY
Todayweranthecraziest obstaclecourseever.
Wehadtoclimbwalls,crawlunder wire,climbupropes,doparkour,and
walk through mud. Butthescariestpart waswhentheymadeusclimbsomeswampvines. And theymadeusdoit OVER WATER!
Someof the mobkidsgotso scaredthat theyfell apart.
Thecampcounselorshadtotakethemtotheinfirmaryto seeiftheycould putthem back together. Whenitwasmyturn todoit,Igothalfway across,andthenIgotsoscared
I FROZE.
Allthekidswerelaughingat me. Andtheothercampcounselorswere yellingatmeto hurryup.
ButIwas too scaredtomove. Allofasudden,one ofthe campcounselorsclimbedonthevinenexttome andstartedtalking tome.
“What’syourname?” hesaid. “Myname isZack…butmy friendscallmeZombie,” I said. “HeyZombie,” hesaid. “MynameisBilly, BillyCarrion.” “Uhhuh.”
“Zombie,youknow what?Iusedto bea camperhere afewyears agotoo,” hesaid.
“Really?”
“Yeah, andyouknow,when I hadto dothe VineCross,Iwas sonervous thatIlostmy head,” he said.“FOR REAL?”
“Yeah, camecleanoff. Andmybodywasstill stuck uphereonthevine. It tookthemtwo daystogetmybodydown,” hesaid. “Afterthat, allthe kids calledmeHeadlessallsummer.”
JustthinkingaboutBilly’sbodystuckup on the vinewithouta head made melaugh. “Feelbetter?” heasked.
“Yeah, IguessIdo.” “Howaboutweclimb the restoftheway,andwegrab afew BOOGER SNACKS after,” hesaid.
“Uh,Ok.” SoI climbedtherestofthewaytillImadeittotheend.
Afterwards,Creepy,EndyandFlapper ranup tome. “Are youalright,Zombie?” theyallasked. “Yeah, I’mOK,” Isaid.
“Man, thefirsttimeIwentontheVineCross Igotstuckuptheretoo,” Creepy said. “Billyhelpedmegetdowntoo. Billysaid thatif I everfeel afraid,thatIshouldjustthinkof SOMETHING FUNNY tomakethe feargoaway. When Ido the VineCrossnow,IjustimagineBilly’sheadless Zombiebody up onthevinefortwo days,andithelpsmegetthroughit real fast.”
IwasgoingtoaskCreepyhowhe doesthe VineCrosswithoutanyarms. ButwhatIreallywantedtoknowwas whyBillycouldbeso nice, especiallysincehewasone ofthebloodthirstycamp counselorsthatwere outtoeatour brains.
Confusing…
WEDNESDAY
TodayIhadtogotothe Nurse’s officebecauseIhurtmyselfwhiledoing some team buildingexercises.
Wedidateambuilding exercisecalledtheTrustexercise. Ihadtoclosemy EYE SOCKETS andfallbackward,andmy cabin matesweresupposedtocatch me.
Idon’tthinkthecampcounselorsthoughtthatone through verywell. SinceCreepyandFlapperdidn’thaveanyarms,theonly onesleft tocatch mewereEndyandNick,theWitherSkeleton.
Endy andNickweresupposed toholdhands,butrightwhenIfell,Nicked pulledawayand Ifellsmack on the floor. Man,ithurt.
ThenursewasthesamenurseIsawthelastday ofschoolatthe carnival. Shewasreallynicetoo,whichwasconfusing,sinceshewassupposed tobe a ROTTEN FLESH eating witchthatcouldswallow youwhole.
“HeyZombie,” shesaid, “it’sgoodtoseeyouagain.” “Hi,NurseGolem,” Isaid. Iwaslookingaroundto seeifI could findany ofher instrumentsoftorture,
butIcouldn’t seeany. Shemusthave them ina hiddenchamberbehind asecretwall,Ithought.
“Looks likeyougotanastybumponyour head,” shesaid, “Goodforyou. Afew more ofthoseandyou’llbethebest looking Zombieatcamp.”
“Thanks,NurseGolem,” I said. Iwantedtoask herifshewasarotten flesh eatingwitch,butIthoughtshe might EAT ME WHOLE becauseIhad discoveredher evilplan.
“Nurse Golem…” Isaid. “Yes,Zombie? “Nuthin…” I said. Iwent back tomycabin,trying tofigure outwhythe camp counselorsand
thenursewerebeingsonicetome.
Oh no!Ithought. Theymustwanttoputaspell onme sothat afterward, I canlead theotherunsuspectingkidstoward theirdoom! DIABOLICAL, Ithought. Well,it’snotgoing towork. I’msure there’ssomesortofpotionto ward offawitch’scurse. I’llaskSteve. Hegets hereonSaturday. I’msure he’llknow what todo…THURSDAY
Todaythey tookthekidscaveexploringsowe candiscoverour trueselves, whatever thatmeans.
I’vebeenincaveslikeamillion times. SoIthoughtthis cave tripwouldbe asboringas ever.
Except these cavesweredifferent. Thecampcounselortoldus thatwewere goingtoa cave thathadarecentlydiscovered STRONGHOLD init.
Strongholdsare reallycool,becauseit’sliketheonlyplaceyou canfind an EndPortal.
Endy wasreally excited aboutthetrip. Hesaid the EndPortalwashow his familyfirstemigratedto ourworld. Hesaidhisgrandparentstoldhimall kinds ofstoriesaboutitwhen hewasalittlekid.
Ithoughtitwas cooltoo,because there isonly oneotherEnd Portalthathas everbeenfound.
Thepersonguidingus onthetourwasafamousarchaeologistmobSkeleton lady,named LARA CRAFT.
Beforewe wentin,shemadeuswearhelmetssothatwewouldn’tgethitby fallingcavestones andstuff.
So,afterexploringthecaves for afewhours,wefinallyarrivedat the Stronghold. Itwasawesome.The Stronghold!
Therewereallkind ofcoolroomsinthere. Therewasaroomwitha fountain,aroomwithapillarinit,anda library.
Wefoundallkindof chestsinsidewithcool stuff,too. But theydidn’tlet us keep the stuff wefound.
IwasbummedtoobecauseEndyhadfoundsome REDSTONE inone chest,Flapper foundaGoldingot,andCreepyfounda pickaxethathehad troublepicking up.
Inthelibrary,Ifound achestwith anEnchantedBook.Thismightcome inhandyagainst thecampcounselors,thewitchnurse and thecafeteria monster, Ithought.
SoI decidedtohideitandkeepitto myself. ButNicksawmehideit,which Iknewmeanttrouble. “Whatyougotthere, Cretan?” Nickaskedme. “Nothing,” Isaid. “Looks likeabook,” hesaid. “Whatare yougoingtogiveme soIdon’t tell
thecampcounselorsthatyoutookit?” Oh man,herecomes the BLACKMAIL. Whyisitthat bulliesalwayshave toblackmailyou?They’re probablypracticing sowhentheygrowup they’llmakegoodmobsters. “Whatdoyou want?” Iaskedhim. “Well,ifanybodygetspoisonedin ourcabin,Iwantyoutotakethe blame for it,” hesaid. “Youplanningon poisoning somebody?” Iasked. “Well,it’snotlikeI canhelp it,” hesaid. “Itjust keepshappeninginmy sleep. AndmyparentswarnedmethatifI POISONED ANYONE else thatIwould getinrealtrouble.” “Whydon’tyougo toawitch doctorforthat?” Iaskedhim. “Weare inthe Swamp Biome,youknow.” “LookCretan, it’snone ofyourbusiness. Andifyou tellanyone, then everybodyis going toknowabout yourspecialbook,gotit?!!” hesaid. “Yeah, Igotit,” I said. Sofor the restof thetrip,Nickjustgavemealookto tellmeheownedme.
ButIdidn’t care,because withthe ENCHANTED BOOK, Icouldward offanyspells the nursewitchor campcounselorscould useon me.FRIDAY
Todaywasofficial prankday. Thisisthedaythatthecamp counselors allowthemob kidsto prankeachotheras muchas theywant.
Butwhatusually happensisthatallthecabins withthetoughkidsusually PRANK allthecabins withthenicekids.
ThegoodthingabouthavingNick, the Wither Skeletoninourcabin,isthat nobody woulddareprankourcabin.
Theonlyproblem?Itwas open seasonforNicktoprankallof us.
Firstthing,weallwokeupto Flapper screamingandyelling.
SinceFlapperwasinthebottombunk, Nickhadcreatedtwowallsoutof DUCT TAPE and lockedFlapper in. WecouldhearFlapperscreamingandyelling andflappinginhisbunk. Ittook usa while, butwegothimout. Butwewereallscared becauseweknewwewerenext.
Later, meandtheguyswerein ourcabinreadingcomicsduring the morningbreak.
Allofasudden we sawthedooropenandsomebodychuckedlike12cans ofshavingcreamin thecabin,all tiedto asmallblockofTNT.
Aftertheexplosion, allofuswerewhitefromheadto toe.
Afterwegotcleanedup,wetriedtogetout ofthecabin togoto lunch. I didn’tevengetthroughthedoorbecause Nick hadcoveredthetop partof thedoor withplasticwrap. Almosttookmyheadoff.
Afterlunch,Endywent tothebathroomwithhiscomicstodohisduty.
Next thingyouknow,weheardhim yellingandscreamingthat he’s bleedingand abouttodie. Wewentintothebathroomandsawhislegs andthewallswerecovered
withred stuff thatlooked likeblood. Creepy gotup realupcloseto it, smelledit,andthenlickedit. “Eeewwww,” was all we couldsay. “Heyguys,itsonly KETCHUP,” Creepysaid. Then weliftedthetoiletseat andfoundaboutfiftyketchuppacketsthat
Nick hadputunderthere.
Man,camplife ishard.SATURDAY
Stevefinallymade itto the Swamp Biometoday.
He wasallcoveredinbrown andgreenpaint,andhadagreenbandana aroundhishead.Steveisbattle ready!
Icouldtellhewasreadyforwar.
“Steve,man, I’mso gladyou’rehere,” Isaid. “Tryingtoholddown the fort bymyselfis hard.”
“GOOD JOB, SOLDIER,” he said. “Sowhatdoyouknowsofar?”
“Well,first,Ithinkthecamp counselorsaregoingtotryto putaspellon me, toturn meintoone oftheirminions,” I said. “They’vebeenreallynice tome,butIknow whatthey’reupto.”
“Howdoyouknowthattheyhaven’tputaspellonyoualready?” Steve asked.
Ijustlookedathim…confused.
“Well,anyway,IfoundanEnchantedBookinthe Strongholdthat’snear camp, andIthoughtyou could useittomakeaprotective spellor somethingaround us.”
“Yeah, well,myenchantmentsaren’tvery good,” Stevesaid. “Butwecan alwaysask Glenda,the Swamp Witchto helpus. The FULL MOON comesoutinafew days,soshe’llbebackby then.”
“Also, thecafeteria foodmonster eatslike twentykidsaday,” Isaid. “And itpicksthemclean. Ihaven’tseenany body partsormobkidremainsat all.”
“Whoa,” wasallStevecould say.
“Sowhere areyoustaying?” Iasked Steve.
“Ibuiltasmalldirt houserightoutside ofyourcamp,” hesaid. “Thatway I canstay close.”
“Awesome.”Man,havingStevearoundisgoing tobegreat.
Iwasgoingtoaskhim tohelpmewith myNick problem. ButIdidn’twant todistracthim from the mission.
Besides, Nickhasn’tpoisonedanyone yet, soI’vegotnothingto worry about.SUNDAY
BANG!BANG!BANG! “Wake up,campers!” wasallIheard,asItriedto get outof bed. Then IsawEndynextto thecampcounselorcrying. “Somebodyisin realtrouble,” thecamp counselor said. “Oneofyou
poisonedthis Enderman’s pet ENDERMITES. And nooneisleavinguntil
Ifindoutwhoitwas.” Nick,theWitherSkeleton, gave me meanlook. Thenhemadeasignwith his fingersintotheshapeofabook.
Iguesshewastrying totellmethatifIdidn’ttaketheblame,hewasgoing totelleveryoneaboutthe ENCHANTED BOOK. “It wasme,” I said. “I poisonedtheEndermitesasaprank.” “Zombie,how couldyou?” Endyran outofthe cabincrying. Ifeltterrible. “Well,Zombie,you’re inalotoftrouble,” thecounselorsaid. “We’regoing tohaveto callyourparents, andyou’regoingto beoncafeteriaclean-up dutyfortherestof camp.” Cafeteria clean-up?That meansI’m goingtobethecafeteriamonster’s
NEXT MEAL!
Nick justlooked atmeand smiled.
MONDAYYesterdaythe campcalledmyparentsandtheyweresodisappointed.
“Whatwereyouthinkingson?” Dadsaid,and Mom added, “Weraisedyou betterthan that.” Icouldhearmylittle brother GIGGLING inthebackground. Ifeltsobadbecause I couldn’ttell themthe truth. ButI reallyneededthe
EnchantedBooktohelpsavethecamp.
Now,I shouldprobably be worriedabouttryingtofindawayoutfrom underNick’s thumb. ButI’ve got biggerthings toworry about. Todayismyfirstdayon CAFETERIA DUTY.
AndI’m reallyscared. Iwonderwhatitfeelsliketobeeaten. Probably feelslikegetting thrown intoatrashcompactor. Ormaybeif feelslikefalling intoameatgrinder. A woodchippermaybe?
I’mso doomed.WhenIwalkedinto thecafeteria,the headcookwaswaitingtogreetme.
“Hithere,youmustbeZombie,” hesaid. “MynameisFlavio,andI amthe head chefatCobblestoneCamp.”
He wasaZombie,but hehadan accent,soIthinkhewasfromtheMesa Biome.ChefFlavio
“Hi,it’sgood tomeetyou,” Isaid,notsureif I couldtrust thisguy.
Imean,he’sbeenworking thislongaroundthecafeteriafoodmonsterand hasn’tbeeneaten. Eitherhe’s a REAL TOUGH MOB, orhe’stheoneholdingthelegsof
thekidsasthey godown the monster’sstomach. He didn’tlookthattough tome,so he mustbeworking for themonster.
“Ineedyou tohelbmeprepareeveryone’sbreakfass, youngZombie,” he said. “Here,you holdthepotandIgetthemeats.”
What?Allofasudden,Flaviogoes intotherefrigeratorandstarts unwrapping some meat products.
Thosemustbe theremainsfromallof the mobkids!I thought. NowonderI couldn’tfindany. He’stakingtheleft oversandfeedingthembacktothe kids!
Istarted feelingdizzy. “HeyZombie, areyouOK?” Allofasudden,I HURLED intothebig pot. “Hey!Youdiscoveredmysecretingreedient. Thank you,yousavedme
troubleofaddingitmyself. Youaresuchagreathelb.” Icouldn’tholditin,andIhurledagain. “Huepa!” he yelled.TUESDAY
TodayIgota littlebreak fromactivitiesthankstomy cafeteriaexperience.
ButIhadthatdreamagain.
Thistime,Iwastiedup andcouldn’t move. Thecampcounselorscarried metoan ALTAR tosacrificemetothe cafeteriafoodmonster.
Downbelow,thecafeteriafoodmonsterwasas big asa mountainwitha giant mouth,gurglingdown allofthepoormob campkids.
Beforetheygotmetothealtar, poorEndy wasthrownin. ThenFlapperwas thrownin. ThenCreepywasthrownin.
Thecampcounselorsarealllaughingandrelishingthe moment.
Then Igotto the altar andthey were abouttothrow mein. Beforethe maskedaltar personthrew me in,hetook offhismask…and itwasNick!
He grinnedfromearto earandthen PUSHED ME OFF the altarintothe monster’smouth.
As I wasfalling, allI couldthinkaboutwashowIwas nevergoingto see myparentsagain, ormy ghoulfriendSally,orevenmypeskylittlebrother.
Then,allofasuddenIhear, “HHHEEEIIIIAAAAHHH!!!”
Ina blazeof glory,Steve,withavinetiedaroundhisleg,bungeecord jumped intothecafeteriafoodmonster’smouth,and caughtme beforeIgot swallowedwhole.
Webounced uptothetree hewastiedto, butas I lookeddown,Isawmy
buddiesamongthe crowdofmobkidsbeingswallowed. Itieda vinearoundmyankle,andSteve andIbothjumpedintosaveour friends.
Stevegrabbedand savedEndy,andIsaved Flapper. But, asI lookeddowntopreparetogetCreepy,he shookhisheadno. Then Creepy startedtohiss,andflash,and then,
“KKKAABBBOOOOMM!”
Creepy blew up,andthe other creepercampers blewup,andtheyblewup theentirecafeteriafoodmonsterandallofthecampcounselors withit.
Then Iwokeup.
Man,didIjust seethefuture? I’vegottodoeverythingIcantoneverlet thathappen,Ithought. Imetupwith Stevelater inthedayandItoldhimaboutmydream. “WHOA,” Stevesaid. “Maybe itwas the future…” “Thatmeans we need todosomethingsoon, orwe’reall doomed,” Isaid. “Yeah, we reallyneedto gosee Glenda,the SwampWitch,” Stevesaid.
“Butthe fullmoonisn’ttillnextweek.” “We’ll allbe ZOMBIE BURGERS bynextweek,” Isaidnervously. “Remember, I’vegottoworkat the cafeteria allweek,soyouknow I’m gonnabenext.”
“Man, ifonlywehadsome GUNPOWDER, wecouldmakesomeTNT blocks,” Steve saidashelookedatmefunny.“Don’t even think aboutit. Creepy’s my friend,youknow.” “What?” Steve saidsmiling.
SoI wentbacktomycabin,hopeless.
WEDNESDAY
TodaywasCarePackageDay. It’swhenallofthe campersreceive CARE PACKAGES from their parents. Parents aren’talwaysthecoolestbunch,buttheymakeupforit incare packages. Ithoughtmyparentsweredefinitelygoingto forgetmy carepackage, since
theyweresodisappointedinmebecauseoftheEndermite incident. But, theycame through! They actuallysent me myfavoritesnacks:cookies,milk, DRIED
ZOMBIE BOOGERS and cake!
Endy gotsomecoolblocks. Hegotsomecobblestoneblocks,somedirt blocks,somegravel blocksand evensome obsidian.
Iaskedhimwhattheywereforand hesaidthattheywereforpickingup andmovingaround.
Ijustlookedathim…confused.
Flapper’sparentssenthim some sponges, PRISMARINE CRYSTALS, andatargetwith abull’s-eye.
IaskedFlapperwhatthetargetwasfor,and heshowedme. Heput itabout fivefeet awayfromhimand thenhestared atitfor afewseconds.
Allofasudden,BOOM! Alaserbeamcame out ofhisbigeyeandknocked thetargetrightover. “Whoa!Ididn’tknowyoucoulddothat.” “Yeah, it’s agift,” Flapper said.
Creepy’sparentssenthimanotherliquid Nitrogeninhalerandsomebaby powder. Healsogotsomeshirtsand pants,whichisweird becausetheshirts hadarm holes andthepantlegswerereally long.
Istilldon’tthinkCreepy’sparentsunderstand himvery well. It’sprobably
whyhewalksaroundnaked all ofthetime. IkindoffeltbadthatCreepydidn’tgetanycooltoysandstuffso I went overtoseehowhe wasdoing.
“HeyCreepy,” Isaid, “How’s itgoing?” “Great!” hesaid. “MyMomand Dadsentmemyfavoritestuff!” WOW. Didn’t seethatcoming. “Really?Youlikethisstuff?” “Yeah. Myfavoriteis the baby powder. Itkeepsmefromgettingitchyin
themiddle ofthenight,” hesaid. “What’sitmade of?” I askedhim. “GUNPOWDER,” hesaid. “It’s theonly kindofpowderthatCreepers
use.”
DidhejustsaywhatIthinkhesaid?
Oh man,thisissoon! Steveisgoingtobeso pumpedwhenhefinds outwecanmakesome TNT blocks.
Hey,maybewecansavetheday after all…
THURSDAY
TodayIaskedCreepyifIcouldusesomeofhisbabypowder. “Sure,” hesaid. “Justdon’t useitall. These CABIN BUNKS arereal itchy.” SoI triedtonottaketoomuchsothatCreepywouldn’tnotice.
Iwent togoseeSteve andshowedhimwhatIgot.
“Hmmm. That’sonlyenoughto makeasmallTNTblock,” hesaid. “We justneedtoputitwhereit’sgoing todothemostdamage.” “Iknow!” I saidexcitedly. “Tomorrow allthe campersandcounselorsare
goingtobeoutsideallnightto lookatthestars andtellstoriesandstuff.” “Awesome, we justneedtoget the counselorsbythemselves and BOOM! We’rehome free,” hesaid. “Buthowarewegoing togetthembythemselves?” “Leavethattome,” hesaid witha creepylookonhisgreenand brownface.FRIDAY
Todaywehada campfire withallofthecampersandcounselors.
Theheadcampcounselor,Jerry,startedtellingsomescarystories.
He startedtellingstories abouthumansthatusedto livein THE WOODS andwouldattackunsuspectingmobkidsandeattheirbrains.
He saidthat itwasinthisverycamp,CampCobblestone,that thehumans attacked,andit wasthefirstHumanApocalypsethatclaimed the brainsof hundredsofmob campers.
Allofthe mobkids wereterrified. I’ve got toadmit,myknees started knockingjust thinkingaboutit.
Then ithitme. Tonight’sthenightthat they’re goingto SACRIFICE us tothecafeteria foodmonster! Whatbettertimethan when theyhaveallofthemob kidsinoneplace. Then IgotuplikeIwasgoingto thebathroom,andIsnuckinto thewoods tofind Steve. “Steve,it’stonight!” Isaid, “They’regoingtosacrifice ustothatmonster tonight!” “Well,then we need tomakethis count,” hesaid. “Howareyou goingtoget allofthecounselors by themselves?” Iasked him.
“Well,sincethey’rebraineating humans indisguise,I’m goingtogoout there andtellthemI’m ontheirside,” hesaid. “ThenI’mgoingtotrick them intodoingahuddlesowecandiscusstheevening menu, then
BOOM!”
Ithoughtaboutwhathesaid,andI couldn’thelpthinking…
Steveissuchagenius!Idefinitelywanttobestuckwithhimduringa Human Apocalypse.
Right whenSteveandI got back tothecampers, Jerry wasfinishing his story.
And,thehumansaresaidto havebeenburiedin these woods. Butonnights liketonight, theyhavebeenknowntocrawl outoftheirgraves,towreak theirrevengeon thenextgroupof YOUNG, DELICIOUS, CAMPERS thatwouldbebraveenoughto stepfoot inCamp Cobblestone!
Right then,Stevejumpedoutofthewoodsandyelled, “MynameisSteve andIamhuman!I am heretofeastonthesedelicious camperswithyou!”
Theentire camp went wild.
Therewas yellingand screamingandmobkids andcounselorsrunningall overthe place.
They were runningup trees,runningintothewoods,and runningintoeach other.
Isaw ZOMBIE BODY PARTS flying,as wellasskeletonskulls,and Slimebitsscatteredeverywhere.
TherewereEndermenkidsteleporting allovertheplace,aswell as Zombiesturningwhite.
Ieven sawafewZombiecampcounselorsactuallyjumpin thewater,and try toswimtheirway tosafety. Andif youdidn’t know, zombiesandwaterDON’T USUALLY MIX.
Alotofmobkidsgothurt,butthe mostimportantthingwas thatwesaved thekidsfrombeingeaten,and wesavedthecamp. Andwedidn’tevenneedtouse the TNT. Today,victory wasours!
SATURDAY
Todaythey decidednotto have anyactivities becauseallof thecampers were attheNurse’sofficegettingstitchedupandputbacktogether.
Istillwasn’tsure aboutwhoseside NURSE GOLEM was on,soIjust keptaneye onher.
Atour cabin, all the guysstayedin bedmostofthe day,justmoaning and groaningabouteverythingthathappened.
“Thatwasthe scariest night ofmylife,” Flappersaid.
“Yeah, Iused upbothbottles ofmyliquid Nitrogeninhaler,” Creepy said.
“Iwas SO SCARED, I couldn’tevenmove,” Endysaid. “AllIcoulddo what stand there andstare.”
“Howaboutyou,Zombie?” Creepy asked, “Weren’tyouscared?”
“Uh,yeah, sure,” Isaid,tryingtoactscared.
“Man, didyouseethe campcounselorsrunaway likechickens?” Nick asked. “Those guysare realwimps.”
Thatwasweird,Ithought. Iwas surethat thecampcounselorswould’ve acceptedSteve asoneoftheirown.
“Yeah…wimps,” Isaid.SUNDAY
Today,everythingwentbackto normal.
Ithink thecampcounselors thoughttheycouldtakeourminds offof the crazyevents fromthe other night bykeeping usbusy.
They’reprobably settingupto try again, Ithought.
Todaymost ofthe campkidswerepracticing for the TALENT SHOW or
doingcrafts. Creepy wasstilla bit sickfromhaving inhaledtwobottles ofliquid Nitrogen,so he stayedinthecabin.
Endy, Flapper andIstartedpracticingforour band. Andboydidwesound terrible.
Whenwegotbacktoourcabin,Creepywasinhisbunksleeping. “Hey, don’tworryabout it, guys,” Flappysaid. “I’m surewithalittle practicewe’llsoundrealgood.”
“Butwe stillneedasinger,” Endysaid. “Youneedsomebodyto PLAY GUITAR too, becauseI’mterrible,” Isaid.
Then Nick walked inthecabin.
“Heyguys,didyouhear the dying MOOSHROOM COW wailing earlier?” hesaid. “Oh,wait,thatwasyou guys!”
Then he startedlaughing.
“OK,sowe’rebad,” Flappysaid. “ButIbetCreepy’sdrumswill probably helpussounda wholelotbetter.” Thatdidn’tmakemefeelanybetter.
Later, IsawSteveatourusualspot. “HeyZombie, what’sbugging you?” Steveasked. “Botflies,Ithink,” I said. “No,what’s bothering you?” Stevesaid. “Oh,we’retryingtoputaband togetherforourtalent show, andwesound
terrible,” Isaid. “Bytheway, doyousing?” “Nope,butIplayamean ELECTRIC GUITAR,” he said. Ijustsmiled back athim. “Butwe’vegotmoreimportantthingstoworryabout,” hesaid. “The campfirewasourfirst victory,but I think they’re goingtotryagain.” “You’re right,” Isaid. “Whatarewegoingtodo?” “Onlythingwecandoisbringyour EnchantedBookto Glenda,the Swamp Witch,tosee ifshecanuseittoputa PROTECTION SPELL onusand theothermobkids.” “Doyou think it’llwork?” Iasked. “It hasto,it’souronlyhope,” hesaid. “Well,atleastwehavetheTNT,” Isaid.
Stevejustlookedatme withaweirdsmileandsaid, “Didyouseemynew diamond? Ijustmined itlastnight.”
Oh brother…MONDAY
Todaythey madean announcementthatevenafterthecrazinessfromthe other night,wewerestillgoingto have THE MOBLYMPICS.They saidtheyweregoingto dothe drawingforittomorrow.
Ididn’treallyknowwhattheMoblympicswere,so I askedCreepyaboutit.
“Well,remembertheobstaclecourse we didwhenwefirstgot here?” Creepy said. “Justimaginethat,butbigger.”
“Doeseverybody have toparticipate?” IaskedCreepy.
“Well,they usuallyhavea drawingto picka cabinfrom ourcamp,to goand battleacabinfromCamp NetherRack,” Creepysaid. “Butdon’tworry. I’ve been coming tocampforthree years,andthey’veneverpickedCabinZero, whichis our cabin. Somekidsthinktheyonly draw from the cabinswith themost athletic mobkids.”
Thatwasarelief. Ididn’twanttogothroughthat TRAUMATIC experienceontheVineCrossagain.TUESDAY
“Andthewinningcabin,whowillgoontotheMoblympics…isCabin Zero!”
ThosewerethelastwordsIheardatrollcall thismorning. Everything else was A BLUR afterthat.
IsawCreepylaterat ourcabin,andIasked him, “I thought yousaidour cabinnevergets picked!”
“It doesn’t, Idon’tknowwhathappened,” hesaid. “Maybethey think you orEndyare athletic.”
Then Ilooked overatNickinhisbunk,andI knewhe hadsomethingtodo withit.
“Youhad somethingtodowithus gettingpicked,didn’tyou, Nick?”
“Yep,it’sabouttimeI PAID BACK thoseNetherRackCretansfor kicking meout,” hesaid.
“Howarewesupposedto winthisthing?” Iaskedhim. “None ofusare athletic.”
“Idon’t careifwewin,” hesaid. “I’m justgoingto makesure theynever forgetit.”
Soinafewdays,we’regoingto the Moblympics. Then we’regoingtobe arrestedas accessories toNick’s MURDER SPREE.
Canthingsget anyworse?WEDNESDAY
Well,today wasParent’sDay.
SoI hadto facemyMomandDad’sdisappointingfaces.
Notto mention, theymade me apologizetoEndy’sparents,whichwas also reallyembarrassing.
Ijusthaveto keepremembering MY MISSION. And whenit’sallover I’lltellthemthetruth, andthen theywill all understandwhy.
IgottomeetFlapper’s parents,whowerevisitingfromtheOcean Biome. Flapper’sDadisan ElderGuardian, whichmeans thathe’s importantand stuff. I think heworks intheOceanMonument orsomething.
AndCreepy’sparentsIknewreally well,so itwasgoodseeingthem.
ButwhenIlookedover atNick,Isaw thathewas ALL ALONE.
“HeyCreepy,” Isaid, “howcomeNick’s parents didn’tmakeit?”
“Nick’sparentsnevercometocamp,” Creepysaid. “Every yearonParent’s Dayhejustsitsinthehall allbyhimself.”
Man,that mustbetough,Ithought. Idon’t knowhowI wouldfeelifmy Mom andDad didn’tcomevisitmein thisprisoncamp.
SoI decidedtogotalk toNick. Knowing him,though,he’sprobably going toacttough andstuff. ButBillythecounselorgavemeanidea abouthowto makehimfeelbetter.
“WADDUP?” IsaidtoNick.
“Whatdoyou want,Cretan?” “Nick,Ihaveaquestion for you,” I said. “Whatisit?” Hesounded annoyed. “Whywas the Zombieafraidtocrosstheroad?” “Why?” hesaid. “Because he losthisguts!” “PFFFFTTTT! Thatwasthestupidest jokeIeverheard,” he saidlaughing. Istarted laughingtoo. “Oh,yeah?What do youcalla Zombiewithalot ofkids?” heasked. “What?” “A MOMster!” “Classic!” Isaid. “Howaboutthisone:WhatisaZombie’sfavoritetoy?” “What?” “A DEADYbear!” “Oh,yeah, what kindofgames dobabyZombiesplay?” “What?”
“CORPSE AND ROBBERS!”
Wewentonlikethisfor awhile. Icouldtellit wasmakingNickfeel better.
BeforeI lefthimtogosaygoodbyetomyfolks,he toldme, “You know
what,Zombie,you’realright.” Itwas the WEIRDEST thing,butI thinkNickandIcanactually befriends. Thatis, ifhedoesn’tpoison meinthe middleofthenight.
Why doesthat happen toNickanyway? Iwonder…THURSDAY
Todaywasa fullmoon,so after campactivities,Imetup withSteve topay avisittoGlenda,theSwampWitch. Ibroughtthe enchantmentbookwith metoo, toseeifshecouldhelpus useit.
Whenwegotthere,therewas alight inthewindow ofher Witch’s Hut,so
we knewshewas home. “Ihopeshedoesn’t feedusthoserotten fleshmeatballsshe didlasttimewe were here,” Isaid.
“Idon’t know,” Stevesaid. “Ithoughttheywerekind oftasty.” “Wha..?” “Just kidding,” he said. Weknocked onthedoortothehut,andweheard hersay, “Steve,Zombie,
comein. Just close the doorbehindyou,I’m inthekitchen.” “Howdidsheit knowitwas us?” I said. “Well,sheis awitch,youknow.”Glenda, the SwampWitch
Glenda isawitch,butshe’sthe WEIRDEST WITCH Ihaveeverseen. Shedidn’t wear ablackhatorhaveabignosewith amoleonit.
IwonderifIshouldaskher whyshelookssodifferent,Ithought. Naah, she’lljustturn me intoafrogorsomethingforasking.
Wewalkedintoher hutandwentto thekitchen, andGlendawasbusy making COOKIES. “HiZombie! HelloSteve!You’rebothlookingwell,” she said. “Hi,WitchGlenda,” SteveandIbothsaid. “Wouldyoulike acookie?” sheasked. Iwasn’t sureifIshould takeone. But bythe timeIfinished thinkingabout it,Steveateaboutthreeofthem. “WhatcanIdoforyouboys?” sheasked.
“Well,weneedto know howtousethisEnchantedBookso thatwecanput aprotectivespellonourselves andtheothercampers, sothat wecan BATTLE the Zombie eatingwitch,therotten flesh eatingcampcounselors, andthecafeteriafoodmonster,” Isaid,outof breath.
“Wow,that isamouthful,” she said.
“Yeh,wewanftodesfroythemomstursbeefur theygetus,” Steve saidwith amouthfull ofcookies. “Whatwasthat?” Glendaasked. “Hesaid, we want todestroythemonstersbefore theygetus,” I said. Glenda justlooked atuswith alookthatsaid,you boysare socuteandso
dumbatthe same time. Kindof likewhenyou lookat A PUPPY. Then sheasked, “Howdoyou know theyare monsters?” “Because…” ThenI juststoppedforamoment. Howdidweknow? “Well,whatmadeyouthinktheyweremonsters?” sheasked. “Well,Ihadthis dreamand,itseemedso real,andtheytook awaymy
computer andvideogames, and…” I said.
MeandStevejust lookedateachother…confused. Thenwe SCRATCHED ourheadsand togethersaid, “Oooohhh.” “Sowhenthecampcounselorswerebeingnicetome,theywerereally
beingnice?” Isaid. “HmmHmm,” shesaid. “Andthereason Ididn’tsee anymob kidbody parts,inthecafeteriawas
becausethereweren’t any?” Isaid.
“HmmHmm,” shesaid.
“Andthereason NurseGolem andBillythecounselorweresonicewas becausethey reallylikedme?” Isaid, feeling reallydumb. Stevewasstill eatingcookies,whenallof asudden… “PFFFFTTTTT!” he spitoutallof thecookiesandfell tothefloor
LAUGHING.
Ijuststoodthere,feelingreallydumb.
“Don’t worry,Zombie,wehaveallmistaken other peopleformonsters,and we’veevenbeenmistakenformonstersourselves.” Right whenshesaid thatIthoughtaboutNick. Afterspendingtime with
himyesterday,Irealized hewasn’tsuchamonster after all. SpeakingofNick,Iwonder… “Witch Glenda,” Iasked. “Canyou usethisEnchanted Book tohelpa
Wither Skeletonthatcan’t CONTROL his poison?” “Youknow,Zombie,” shesaid. “That problemis more commonthanyou
think amongWitherSkeletonboys. It usually happensduringpuberty when aWitherSkeletonboyisunderalot ofstress.” “Really,” Isaid. “The bestremedyistohelphimhave SOME FUN,” shesaid. “Andyou
don’tneedan EnchantedBookforthat.” “Whoa,” Steveand I bothsaid. “Thanks,WitchGlenda,” Isaid. “Andhere,” I addedas Igaveherthe
Enchantedbook. “I don’tthinkI’llbe needingthisanymore.”
SteveandIsaidgoodbyetoGlenda. Stevetried toraisehishandbuthis arms were fullof cookies.
“Wow,Steve,” Isaid. “Iwassowrong about camp. Iguessit’snotsobad hereafterall.”
“Yeah, alotofkidssaythat,” hesaid. “They usually hateit untiltheyget there andfind out it’s alotof fun. Crazy,right?”
“Yup,” Isaid aswewalkedbacktothecampsite,eatingsome DELICIOUS COOKIES ontheway.
FRIDAY MORNING
TodayisthefirstdayoftheMoblympics,andI’madding thisjournal entry becauseIdon’tknow ifI’mgoing tomakeitback alive.
Creepy onthe other hand isreallyexcitedthathe finallygotpickedto go. Endy hasn’ttalkedtome since hethoughtI POISONED hisEndermites. Reallyhurts,though,becauseIreallylikedhim.
Flapperisbusydoinghisjumpingjackstogetreadyfor the events. Inever
sawaGuardiandojumpingjacks before,so Itried nottolaugh. Iwalkedover toNickto seewhathe wasdoing. Hehadabigblack BAG FULL ofswords,axes,pickaxes,TNTand other weapons.
“HeyNick,canItalktoyouforasecond?” Isaid. “Whatisit,Zombie?” “Hey, Iknowyou’re goingtogodestroytheCamp Nether Rack kids,and
burntheirwhole camptothe groundandstuff…” I said. “What’syourpoint?” he said. “Hey, wouldyouminddoing itatthe endof theMoblympics? Theguysare
reallyexcitedaboutbeingpickedtogo tothis. AndCreepy’sbeencoming tocampfor three years, andthankstoyou,it’sthefirsttime he’sbeen pickedforanything.”
Nick lookedatEndyandCreepy,thenhe lookedatFlapper,and TRIED NOT TO LAUGH.
“Yeah, sure,” hesaid. “It doesn’tmatter when those CampNetherRack Cretansgetwhat’scomingtothem,justthattheydo. Butyoudon’t think we canwinthis thing,doyou?”
“Well,ifwewin, we canhumiliatethem, andyoucan BLOW THEM UP after,” Isaid.
Then Nick madeareallybig smile.FRIDAY NIGHT
Well,today wasthecraziestdayever! AllIcansay isthatI am soproud tobepart oftheganginCabinZero.
WhenwegottotheMoblympics,theplacewas areal mob. Allthemob kidsfromboth campswerethereanditwas reallyloud.
As for thecourse,that placelooked likeascene from ZOMBIE NINJA WARRIOR.
Kindadon’tthinktheyunderstand we’reonly kids.Well,thekidsfromCampNetherRackwerereal tough. They kindalooked hand-pickedtome.
Therewas aGhast,aBlaze,a ZombiePigman, aMagmaCubeandlastly, there wasaWitherSkeletonwho wasreallyhuge.
FortheMoblympics,therewere FIVE EVENTS altogether. Threeevents today, andtwoeventstomorrow.
Thefive eventsweretheTelephone Pole,thePotato sackrace,theVine Cross, the Rope Climb,andtheMudRun.
They didarandomdrawing for each event, andof course,Igotthe Vine Cross.
Endy gottheTelephonePole, Creepy got therope climb(which Iwasreally worriedabout),Flappergotthe PotatoSackrace(which worriedmetoo), andNickgottheMudRun.
Only ruleforthegameswasthatwecouldn’tuse our ABILITIES. That worked good for us,sinceEndydidn’tknowhow toteleportyet.
First,Endyandthe GhasthadtoclimbtheTelephonePole. IthoughtEndy wouldwinthis oneeasy, butEndydidn’tknow howtoclimbthatwell either. Iguesshislong armsandlegsgetintheway.
SoEndystruggledtogetupthepole. Meanwhile,theGhasteasily usedhis tentaclestograb onepegatatime.
Butallofasudden,Endystartedgettingthehangof itandhestartedto catchup totheGhast!Nextthingweknow,they’reneckandneck,even thoughtheGhastdidn’thavea neck.
Andwhenit wasallover, Endy wonby A FINGER! (I know, Ididn’teven knewEndermenhad fingers.)
Whatwasreally crazy,wasthattheGhastgotrealmad andknockedEndy offof his telephonepole. We were allstandingtherewith ourmouths open ashefelldown. But rightbeforehehittheground, we hear, “BAMF!”
ENDY TELEPORTED!
He teleportedto the ground safely. Andeverybodycheeredhim on.
BAMF! BAMF! BAMF! BAMF!Hewasjust sohappy hecould teleport, hedid itliketentimes beforehegottired.
Then itwas Flapper’s turn. Iwas stillworriedaboutFlapperdoing the PotatoRace,sincehedidn’thaveany arms orlegs. ButIdidn’t feelsobad whenIsawhewas up againstthe Blaze, whodidn’thavearms orlegs either.
“Onyourmark,getset, GO!”
FlapperquicklyjumpedinsideofhisPotatosack,andstartedflappingup anddowntowardthefinishline. Man,Icouldnotbelievethathecouldsee throughthatthing,butitwaslikehehadX-rayvisionorsomething. He hopped andhopped, gettingcloserandclosertothefinish line.
TheBlaze juststoodtherewith his potatosackathisfeet. Flapperwas abouthalfwayto the finishlinewhenallofasudden,theBlazestarted spinningaround. He createdenough HOT AIR thatthe baginflated. There wasametal wireattachedto himandthe potatosacksothe potatosack wouldn’t fly away. Nextthingweknow,the Blazeisjust walkinghispotato sacktothefinishline likeaballoon.
BeforeFlapper couldgetto the finishline,theBlazehadbeaten himreally quick.
SomebodycomplainedthattheBlazecheated,butthejudges saidthat a level ofcreativitywasallowed. So themetalwireandtheairpoofingofthe potatosackwasallowed.
Next itwasmyturn. Iwassoscared oftheVineCrossthatmy kneeswereknocking again.TOCK, TOCK, TOCK.
Mykneessoundedlikeagrandfatherclock.
Creepy cameover andremindedme, “Remember,Zombie, justthinkof somethingfunnyand allyourfearswill goaway.” Ilooked inthecrowdandIsawBilly,the campcounselor, givingmea
thumbs up. IjuststartedthinkingofBilly’s HEADLESS BODY being stuck on that vinefortwodays,and Istarted laughing. Ifeltmuchbetter. Itwas me against the ZombiePigman. He reminded mealittleof my cousin Piggy, buthe wasbigger.
Bothofourvineswerenextto each other. AndwhenIlookedover,the ZombiePigmanguygavemea reallymeanlook. “GO!” wasallIheardasIsawtheZombiePigmanstartclimbingacross
thevinelikehe wasonfireorsomething. Idecidedto takemytimeand pacemyself. “One, two, one,two,one,two,” wasallIsaidtomyself.
I’mdoingit!Ithought,as Istarted moving reallyfast.
IthoughttheZombiePigmandudewasdefinitelygoing towin since hewas goingsofast. Butthen allofasuddenIlookedoverandIsawhisfeet,and thenhisbodyand thenIsawhishead nexttome.
He was FROZEN withfear. Thisis mychancetobeathim!Ithought. SoI startedmovingfaster andfasterand thenI passedhim. I’mgoingto
win!I thought. But, asI wasmoving,Ithought,man,thisisn’tright. SoI climbedbacktowherehewas. “Hey PIG-DUDE, why wastheZombieafraidtocrosstheroad?” “Wwwhhyy?” “Because he didn’thaveanyguts!” TheZombiePig-dudeletoutasmalllaugh,and Icouldtellhefeltbetter. “Whatdoyou saywefinishthisrace?” Itoldhim. “Soundsgood,” hesaid. Sowe bothclimbedthe vinetogether tofinishthe race. ZombiePig-dude
wastotally betterthan meatthe Vinecross, sohewontherace. But, even thoughIlost,I stillfeltgreat.
Todaywas AWESOME!
I’mjustsoproudoftheguysinmycabin. Andwhoknows,tomorrow,wemayeven winthisthing.
SATURDAY
CREEPY HAS ARMS!!!
Ican’tbelieveit!
Allthistime,I’vefeltreallysadforCreepybecausehedidn’thaveany arms. AndtodayIfound out thatnotonlydoes hehavearms,buthehas legstoo!
WhenCreepy’sropeclimbingeventwasaboutto start,Iwantedto prepare himso he wouldn’tbedisappointed.
“Creepy,don’tworryaboutthisevent,man. Ifyou don’twin,itwasjust great thatwegotpickedfortheMoblympics.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Imean,you know, noteverybodyis builtforthese things. Look atFlapper. Poorguy hasgotto flaparoundallover the…”“GO!”
Inthemiddleofmysentence,Creepy’seventstarted. Creepyranuptothe ropeandtookaquicklook atthetop. Thenhestared attheropelikehewas becoming onewithit.
Then outof nowhere,Creepy’s backleg stumpsgotsuckedinto his body, andthen outpoppedthesetwobeefyarmsoutofCreepy’ssides. Then his lasttwolegstumpsstartedgrowinginto twolong legs.
Creepy hasarmsandlegs!Idropped my jaw,literally.
Then Creepy startedclimbingtheropelikehewas bornintheJungle Biome. Hemadeit tothetopin THREE MINUTES flat.
TheWitherSkeleton wassoshockedbywhathe saw,thatbythetimehe goton the rope,Creepyhad alreadywontherace.CREEPYHASARMS ANDLEGS!!!
Creepy strutted overtome,reallyproud. “Howcomeyou nevertoldmeyouhadarmsandlegs?” Iasked. “Younever asked,” hesaid witha big smileon his face. “Whoa,” wasallIcould say.
So,everything wastied. Itwas uptoNicktowinthisthingforus. Iwent overtoseeNickbeforehiseventstarted.
“HeyNick,” Isaid. “What’sup, Zombie,” hesaidashestretchedhis WITHER SKELETON legs. “Hey, Iknowyoudon’t have toreally try,sinceyou’reprobablygoingto burneverythingdownto the ground later,butit wouldreallymean alotto meandtheguysifyoucouldsmoke thisguy,” Isaid. “Hey, Zombie,” Nicksaid. “There’ssomethingI’vewantedtotell youfora coupleofdaysnow,and it’s abouttime Itellyou.” “Whatisit?” Iasked nervously. “Ican sing,youknow,” hesaid,andthenthegun wentoffforhisevent.
Nick movedlike astonein themudbecauseitwas SO THICK.
TheMagmaCubehad areallystrongjump,soforevery fewfeet Nick moved,theMagmaCubecaughtupandpassedhim.
Butthen allofasuddensomethinghappened toNick. Icouldtellhewas crying. Then,outof nowhere,hetook offlikehewas WALKING ON WATER. Hestartedrunninglike he hadwaited all ofhislifetorunlike this.
TheMagmaCubecouldn’tjumpthatfarandfinallygot reallytiredandfell downintothemud.
Nick wontherace,andwewontheMoblympics!
Weallwentover toNickto congratulatehim.
Except thistime,it wasn’t the toughandhardNickthatwewere congratulating. Somethinghappenedto himduring the MudRun. Hewas smiling fromear toear.
Allofthe guys,includingCreepythistime, lifted Nick upintheair,andwe carried himawaycelebrating.
Afterthegames,weallwenttotheCampCobblestonecafeteriawhere Flaviopresenteduswiththe biggestcakeI haveeverseen.
On thecakeitsaid:CONGRACHULACHUNS, CAMP SERO!
Man,Inever thought Iwouldsaythis,but campisthebestthingever!
SUNDAYWell,yesterdaywasthefirst timeCabin Zero everwontheMoblympicsin thepast22years.
Andit feltawesome.
Whatwasreally awesome wasallthecakeweateafterthegames.
Flavio’scake was SOOOO good.
Also,Nickisacompletelydifferentkid now. Hetold Endy andthecamp counselorsthetruthaboutpoisoningtheEndermites.
Thecampcounselorscalledmyparentsandtoldthemwhatreally happened,whichwasa relief. Endy alsoforgave me, whichreallymade me happytoo.
ThegoodthingisthatNickissohappynow,Idon’tthinkhe’llbe POISONING anybody elsefora longtime.
…thatis untilhegets tohighschool.
Tonight,we’re goingtohaveour talentshow, andourbandis finally complete. Nickisgoingtobeourleadsinger,Endyisgoingtoplaythe Note Blocks,Creepyisgoing toplaydrums,Flapperis playing the tambourines, andI’mplayingguitar.
Yeah,Iknow. Ican’tplaythe guitar. ButIdon’tthinkanyoneis goingto care,because Ihave Stevebehind the curtainsplayingarealelectricguitar.
I’mjustgoingtocarrymyguitar,and DAZZLE THEM withmyamazing air guitarskills.
Bringit!Mymadairguitarskills
MONDAY
Well,today we’regoinghome.
I’mreallysad,though. Becausetheselast threeweekshavebeenthebest three weeksofmyentirelife.
I’mreallygoing tomissthe NEW BEST FRIENDS Imade.
Endy wasreally happyto tell his parent’shecanteleportnow. Ithinkhe alsosaid thathe’s goingtovisittheEnderworldto learn more abouthis familyhistory.
FlappywentbacktotheOcean Biome. Hesaid thathegottiredofthe dry air andwantedsomethingmorehumid.
Ifoundoutthat Nick livesreally closetowheremycousin Piggylives,in THE NETHER.SohopefullyI’llsee himwhenmyfamilygoes outtovisit mycousin’sfamily.
AndCreepyis coming homewith me back toourtown. Exceptnow,I think he’sgoingtoshowmorepeople his other side.
As for me, I learnedso much atcamp thatIcan’twaitto go home andask myMomandDadtosignmeupforcampnextyear.
Sonow,Ihaveafewmoreweeksuntilschool starts,whichmeans thatIcan finallyhavemy 24/7 VIDEO GAME AND CAKE MARATHONI’vebeenwaitingsolong for.
…thatis,unlessmyparentsplannedsomeunexpected,unwantedtripthat I reallydon’twanttogo on.
Naah, theywould neverdothat…FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
Zombieisgoingto the 100TH ZOMBIE FAMILY REUNION. Allhewantedto dowas play video games and eat cake allday! ButwillZombieeven make it to the Reunion Alive? Andif hedoes, CAN HE
HANDLE ALL HIS CRAZY RELATIVES?